1 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,153 (gentle music) 2 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,950 (gentle music continues) 3 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,403 - Kiki, I made you this scrapbook, 4 00:01:10,572 --> 00:01:13,041 which I know is a bit weird, 5 00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:16,611 but it all means nothing without you, 6 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:21,683 because you are my everything. 7 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,787 It's like my life only started that day 8 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,591 you rode into Clitopolis for that bounty hunting job. 9 00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:34,161 I didn't exactly have girls knocking down my door, 10 00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:36,931 before you did. 11 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:41,168 Kind of hard when everyone's obsessed with my moms, 12 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:46,173 the great Leanne and Anne, the lives of the party. 13 00:01:46,741 --> 00:01:49,911 And I'm just there, too. 14 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:53,014 The most boring royal in the history of Clitopolis, 15 00:01:53,081 --> 00:01:55,750 as voted by the people. 16 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,384 That was a tough day. 17 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,387 But look at me now! 18 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,757 No one ever thought they'd see the day Princess Saira 19 00:02:02,824 --> 00:02:05,192 would have a hot as fuck partner. 20 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,427 I can't be exiled to the singles zone 21 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,631 this year's Lesbian Ball. 22 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,699 I know we're a bit of an odd match, 23 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:15,036 like you love travelling, and danger, and partying, 24 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,805 and I'm scared to go anywhere, and of everything, 25 00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:20,708 and I'd rather stay home and work on my magic tricks. 26 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,376 But you know what they say? 27 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,045 Opposites attract. 28 00:02:24,112 --> 00:02:26,581 You complete me. 29 00:02:26,681 --> 00:02:28,716 And I know in my heart 30 00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,786 we'll be together forever 31 00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:33,487 and ever, 32 00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:34,989 and ever. 33 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,125 - You're dumped. 34 00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,660 - Fuck. 35 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,927 (gentle music continues) 36 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,329 ♪ She's a lesbian ♪ 37 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,666 ♪ She's in space ♪ 38 00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:48,970 ♪ And she's also a princess ♪ 39 00:02:49,037 --> 00:02:50,470 Oh, and she's very sad. 40 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,407 (Saira crying) 41 00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:56,010 - Look, maybe if things were different 42 00:02:56,077 --> 00:02:57,411 and you were a different person 43 00:02:57,512 --> 00:02:58,846 and I was a different person, 44 00:02:58,913 --> 00:03:00,548 maybe this could have worked for me. 45 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,584 But you're you, 46 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,319 and I'm me. 47 00:03:06,788 --> 00:03:08,156 - [Saira] I'm sorry. 48 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,991 - Please stop crying. 49 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,292 - I literally can't. 50 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,762 - Hey, it's okay, you'll be all right. 51 00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:17,431 You are really good with your hands. 52 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,299 (Kiki moaning) 53 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,070 Oh my God, oh. (moaning) 54 00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:25,006 (Kiki moaning) 55 00:03:25,073 --> 00:03:27,407 Oh, you're so good at that. 56 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,877 - It's my sleight of hand. 57 00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:33,781 - You're smothering me. 58 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,449 We've only been dating like two weeks, 59 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:37,417 and you made this terrifying book. 60 00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:39,053 (book clanks) 61 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:39,821 - No. 62 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,790 - I just thought dating a space princess would be more, 63 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,292 ah, fun. 64 00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,829 I don't wanna Gayflix and chill every night. 65 00:03:47,929 --> 00:03:49,496 - I'm sorry. 66 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:52,499 - And the "Sorry"s always with the "Sorry"s. 67 00:03:52,867 --> 00:03:56,170 - Sorry, oh, sorry for being sorry. 68 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,139 (Kiki grunts) 69 00:03:58,206 --> 00:03:59,741 Can we at least still go to the Lesbian Ball together? 70 00:03:59,841 --> 00:04:01,509 - Absolutely not, I need to get outta here. 71 00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:04,712 Goodbye forever. (mimics explosion) 72 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,948 Pretend you saw a smoke bomb and I'm gone. 73 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:11,418 (Saira sniffling) 74 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,989 (gentle music) 75 00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:19,093 Wait, Saira. - Yeah? 76 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,361 - You're wearing my jumper. 77 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,832 - Oh. (crying) 78 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,503 (gentle music) 79 00:04:30,872 --> 00:04:33,473 (Kiki sighs) 80 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:39,080 - Oh man, fuck, that's my jumper, too. 81 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:42,382 - Mm-hmm. (crying) 82 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,951 - Ugh, you know what? 83 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,318 Keep it, it can be your birthday present. 84 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,954 - [Moms] Yay! 85 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,322 - I will never 86 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,126 take it off. 87 00:04:52,193 --> 00:04:53,861 - Oh. 88 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,797 - Yeah, I gotta get the hell outta here, I'm sorry. 89 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,166 Fuck, ugh, it's contagious, goodbye forever. 90 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,335 I'll miss you so much. 91 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,305 (moms crying) 92 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:08,643 Oh, and of course I'll miss you, too, Royal Pussy. 93 00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:12,079 (upbeat music) 94 00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,714 You always bring the party. 95 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,819 This hurts me more than it hurts you. 96 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,590 - Honestly, I can't believe it lasted that long. 97 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,127 - [Moms] We told you the scrapbook was too much. 98 00:05:27,295 --> 00:05:28,863 (upbeat percussive music) 99 00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:31,032 - Okay, so that start was pretty shit house. 100 00:05:31,132 --> 00:05:33,366 - But welcome to... 101 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:34,502 (Anne humming) 102 00:05:34,569 --> 00:05:36,304 That's a cool drum roll. 103 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,973 - [Moms] Our birthday party! 104 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,308 (audience cheers) 105 00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:41,909 For Saira. 106 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,544 - [Audience Member] Oh. 107 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:44,545 (lights buzzing) 108 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:45,913 (person coughing) 109 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,083 - We can't believe she's 22 today. 110 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,751 - 23. 111 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,988 - We can't believe she's 23 today. (sniffles) 112 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,090 - Which means it's that time of the year 113 00:05:56,157 --> 00:06:01,863 where we see if she can finally summon her royal labrys. 114 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,165 - [Audience Member] Think she'll fail again? 115 00:06:04,265 --> 00:06:05,099 - [Audience Member] Is the sky rainbow? 116 00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,934 (hawk shrieks) 117 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,736 - For thousands of years, 118 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:11,706 the Clitopian royal bloodline has been born 119 00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:16,277 with the ability to summon one of the most 120 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:20,848 powerful weapons known to l-l-lesbian kind. 121 00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:23,050 - [Moms] The labrys. 122 00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:27,255 - Let us now turn to the ancient scriptures of Wikipedia. 123 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:31,893 This all began back on Earth, it says... 124 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,695 - [Leanne] "In the 1970s, the labrys was adopted 125 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,965 by the lesbian community as a feminist symbol 126 00:06:38,032 --> 00:06:41,636 representing strength and self-sufficiency." 127 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,005 - [Anne] The summonings happened first try for us. 128 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,074 But you know what they say, six time's the charm. 129 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,244 - [Moms] Try not to do that over the thinking thing you do. 130 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:51,512 - Wait, what do you mean by that? 131 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:53,281 - [Moms] Let the summoning begin! 132 00:06:53,381 --> 00:06:55,716 (audience cheers) 133 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:56,584 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 134 00:06:56,751 --> 00:06:57,551 (Saira groaning) 135 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:58,386 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 136 00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,253 (Saira groaning) 137 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:00,721 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 138 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:01,622 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 139 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:02,623 (Saira groaning) 140 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:03,591 - [Moms] It's happening. 141 00:07:03,658 --> 00:07:04,992 (Saira groaning) 142 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:05,860 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 143 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,695 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 144 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,965 (singers vocalising) 145 00:07:13,334 --> 00:07:15,169 (Saira panting) 146 00:07:15,236 --> 00:07:17,538 - Oh. - Oh, for fucks sake. 147 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:21,709 - [Leanne] Oh, sweetie, that was really tough. 148 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,678 Especially for us. 149 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:27,581 - [Anne] It is so hard to watch you struggle, 150 00:07:27,682 --> 00:07:29,116 but let's not have it ruin a good party. 151 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,718 Who wants to see us dance? 152 00:07:30,785 --> 00:07:32,753 - [Leanne] I do, I wanna see us dancing. 153 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,455 ♪ Party, party, party, party, party ♪ 154 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:39,093 - [Leanne] Great dancing! 155 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,695 (birds chirp) 156 00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:43,463 (sombre music) 157 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:53,641 ♪ Really, really, really sad ♪ 158 00:07:56,243 --> 00:08:00,081 ♪ Really, really, really sad ♪ 159 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:05,286 - [Saira] Kiki, ever since you've disappeared, 160 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,122 who else can I talk to? 161 00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,290 I'm lost. 162 00:08:13,194 --> 00:08:17,365 When you left, you took everything with you. 163 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,168 The absence of you is everywhere I look. 164 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:23,137 ♪ Really, really, really sad ♪ 165 00:08:23,204 --> 00:08:24,872 - [Saira] It's like a huge hole 166 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,841 has been pumped through my chest. 167 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:31,512 (Saira screaming) 168 00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,348 But in a way, I'm glad. 169 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,918 The pain is my only reminder that you were real. 170 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:42,623 (dramatic music) 171 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:45,826 (damsel whimpering) 172 00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,200 (Kiki laughs) 173 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,068 (gun zaps) 174 00:08:54,168 --> 00:08:55,569 (damsel yelps) 175 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,805 (damsel whimpers) 176 00:08:57,872 --> 00:09:00,808 (dramatic music) 177 00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:10,251 - Kiki the Destroyer, for all your bounty hunting needs. 178 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,253 Hmm. 179 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,921 Couldn't you just watch me, like, all day? 180 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:16,657 Kapow. 181 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,060 (phone chiming) 182 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,161 Fuck, I'm good. 183 00:09:22,163 --> 00:09:25,032 (door slams) 184 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,134 Yeah, no, this is my room. 185 00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:28,537 (women screaming) 186 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:32,640 Take them, not me, what the fuck! 187 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,208 (Kiki panting) 188 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:37,711 No, no, no, no, please, I'm too hot to die. 189 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,415 (tense music) 190 00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:52,259 What the fuck? 191 00:09:53,461 --> 00:09:54,762 Where am I? 192 00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:57,298 Oh, what is this? 193 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,967 (Malien laughing) 194 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:05,139 - [Malien] Welcome to our cave, that is our toxic home brew. 195 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:06,974 - [Kiki] Who the hell are you? 196 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,342 - Who are we? 197 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:12,514 We're the Straight White Maliens. 198 00:10:12,581 --> 00:10:14,516 (intense music) 199 00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,518 - Who? - Oh, come on. 200 00:10:16,585 --> 00:10:17,651 - Are you, are you serious? 201 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,253 The Straight White Maliens. 202 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,754 We used to be the most powerful beings 203 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:21,956 in the whole universe. 204 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,724 - Who? 205 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,127 - Yeah, of course, everyone has forgotten about us. 206 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,028 Everyone! 207 00:10:28,129 --> 00:10:30,599 - You stripped our ancestors of all their power and you, 208 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,434 you left our kind for dead. 209 00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:36,637 - And we were exiled to this man cave. 210 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:40,875 But we've had a gut full of being pushed us bloody side. 211 00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:42,511 - I'm getting upset. 212 00:10:42,577 --> 00:10:44,378 - You don't wanna see us upset right now. 213 00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:48,849 - Oh, you don't want to see us get bloody. (mumbling) 214 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,585 - It's not good. 215 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,120 - Let me guess, you wanna rule the world again? 216 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,756 - No, wrong, incorrect. 217 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,057 - Then what do you want from me? 218 00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,593 - [Malien] You? 219 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,327 This isn't about you. 220 00:11:01,596 --> 00:11:03,030 - [Malien] You are just the bait. 221 00:11:03,998 --> 00:11:05,499 - What? 222 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,201 - You see, we can't get the hot chicks anymore. 223 00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:09,803 So for thousands of years we've been slaving 224 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,805 over building this chick magnet. 225 00:11:12,641 --> 00:11:13,542 (chicken clucks) 226 00:11:13,642 --> 00:11:15,142 But Larry fucked it up! 227 00:11:15,209 --> 00:11:16,744 - Well, I don't hear you complaining when you eat 228 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,379 these delicious, fresh eggs every morning, 229 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,581 - Your eggs are shit! 230 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,448 You know those eggs are shit! 231 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,285 - What are you gonna feed the chicks when we get 'em? 232 00:11:24,385 --> 00:11:26,588 - Anyway, shut up, I'm gonna feed the chicks our- 233 00:11:26,655 --> 00:11:28,322 Oh no, wait, that makes a lot of sense. 234 00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:29,490 - [Larry] Thank you. 235 00:11:29,591 --> 00:11:31,258 - Anyways, long story short, 236 00:11:31,325 --> 00:11:34,328 we ended up buying a new Swedish chick magnet online. 237 00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:36,997 - But when it arrived, what did we discover? 238 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,033 The bloody battery's not included. 239 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,503 - Oh, hate that. - Yeah, I do hate that. 240 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,505 (Josh mumbling) 241 00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:48,042 - And according to the manual, the battery is Princess Saira 242 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:51,779 of Clitopolis's royal labrys. 243 00:11:52,614 --> 00:11:54,415 What the fuck? 244 00:11:54,516 --> 00:11:56,116 - That seems weirdly specific. 245 00:11:56,217 --> 00:11:58,052 - It's so stupid! 246 00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,954 Especially because we can't get past 247 00:12:00,054 --> 00:12:02,923 that dumb Safety Bubble protecting gay space. 248 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:06,794 And that little princess is some sort of weird shut in. 249 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,664 It says she literally never goes anywhere. 250 00:12:10,699 --> 00:12:12,366 - Literally never. 251 00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,969 - But according to the manual, there is one thing 252 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:18,673 that could lure her out of gay space. (giggling) 253 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,342 (tense music) 254 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:29,883 (phone ringing) 255 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,553 - Kiki, finally. 256 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,454 Wait, oh my God, where are you? 257 00:12:33,555 --> 00:12:37,559 - Saira, you gotta help me, I've been captured by these 258 00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,927 things called Straight White Maliens. 259 00:12:39,994 --> 00:12:41,929 - Who? - Oh, fuck you! 260 00:12:41,996 --> 00:12:44,498 Now listen, princess, we need your royal labrys. 261 00:12:44,599 --> 00:12:45,866 - What, why? 262 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,702 - For super tough cool dude stuff. 263 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,870 - So if you don't want us to drown your beloved Kiki 264 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,373 in our toxic home brew, you will bring it here, 265 00:12:52,473 --> 00:12:58,045 to the worst, most dangerous place in the universe. 266 00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,446 (Saira gasps) 267 00:12:59,547 --> 00:13:00,682 - But- - Saira, please tell me 268 00:13:00,749 --> 00:13:02,617 you actually have the labrys. 269 00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:06,954 (mantle chimes) 270 00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:08,389 - Oh yeah, totally, I've got it. 271 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,923 Yeah, it's, it's not on me right now, 272 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,158 but I definitely have it. 273 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,160 - Oh, thank God. 274 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,030 - Great, bring it here in the next 24 hours and come alone, 275 00:13:16,130 --> 00:13:18,132 or lover girl is going down, 276 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:21,302 or should I say going drown? (cackling) 277 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,303 - Oh. 278 00:13:23,037 --> 00:13:25,339 (group cackling) 279 00:13:25,406 --> 00:13:28,876 - Going drown. (cackling) 280 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,612 (group cackling) 281 00:13:30,712 --> 00:13:32,547 (timer beeps) 282 00:13:32,614 --> 00:13:37,719 - Kiki, Kiki! (whimpering) 283 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:47,696 (Saira grunting) 284 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,999 (Saira crying) 285 00:13:58,540 --> 00:14:01,041 - [Monster] Why did you do that? 286 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,778 You'll never summon the labrys. 287 00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:08,882 The only royal to fail at this simple tradition. 288 00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:13,253 You're a disappointment to your moms. 289 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,990 To everyone. (laughs) 290 00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:19,661 Kiki's doomed because of you. 291 00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:25,132 If you weren't broken, you would have your labrys. 292 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:37,077 (ominous music) 293 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,784 (mouse clicking) 294 00:14:43,618 --> 00:14:46,654 (keyboard clicking) 295 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:53,327 (keyboard clicking) 296 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:57,832 (keyboard clicking) 297 00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,507 - [Poster] Can't believe Kiki was with her. 298 00:15:05,573 --> 00:15:07,007 - [Poster] Saira sucks. 299 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,942 - [Poster] How can you be a princess, 300 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,411 and not even like to party? - [Poster] Saira still sucks. 301 00:15:10,512 --> 00:15:12,413 - [Poster] I heard she's straight. 302 00:15:12,514 --> 00:15:13,748 - [Poster] Ew. 303 00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:19,153 (Saira sighs) 304 00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:21,556 - [Blade] You all need to give her a break. 305 00:15:21,623 --> 00:15:24,057 No wonder she can't summon her labrys. 306 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,461 She should come to my club, I can help. 307 00:15:27,529 --> 00:15:31,599 Blade, your resident weapons expert, kisses, motherfucker. 308 00:15:31,666 --> 00:15:33,635 (Saira gasps) 309 00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:37,404 (keyboard clicking) 310 00:15:37,505 --> 00:15:41,975 ♪ Now it is cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, yeah, yeah ♪ 311 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:46,346 ♪ To be queer, to be queer ♪ 312 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:49,016 (tense music) 313 00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:53,420 (Saira grunts) 314 00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:54,988 (fist thumping) 315 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,224 - [Anne] Saira, we left some food outside, okay? 316 00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:59,126 It's a banh mi. 317 00:15:59,193 --> 00:16:01,428 - [Leanne] Also, honey, we, we hate to bring it up, but- 318 00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:03,096 - [Anne] We put you down as single 319 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,199 for the Lesbian Ball tomorrow night. 320 00:16:07,535 --> 00:16:10,304 (upbeat music) 321 00:16:11,739 --> 00:16:14,676 - No need, I'll be going with Kiki. 322 00:16:14,742 --> 00:16:16,310 (moms sigh) 323 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,512 - [Leanne] Oh, thank God she's taken you back. 324 00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:18,680 - [Anne] Oh my goodness. 325 00:16:18,746 --> 00:16:20,280 - [Leanne] That is a relief. 326 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,684 - [Anne] Oh, it's just so, so sad to be single. 327 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,719 Well, we can only imagine it is. 328 00:16:24,786 --> 00:16:26,721 - [Moms] Never done it, never want to. 329 00:16:26,788 --> 00:16:28,823 - Like everyone can see it, 330 00:16:28,923 --> 00:16:30,792 'cause there's no one standing next to you, 331 00:16:30,892 --> 00:16:32,627 and when someone's single, 332 00:16:32,694 --> 00:16:35,830 you just imagine them in a food court, by themselves. 333 00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,833 - Eating alone, chatting to the cleaner 334 00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:41,001 who doesn't even want to talk to you. 335 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,805 She's got her own life, she's not bothered with you. 336 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,907 You look sad, sad, sad, sad. 337 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,876 (Anne retches) 338 00:16:47,976 --> 00:16:49,409 - [Anne] Okay, well, we'll pop the two of you on the list. 339 00:16:49,511 --> 00:16:51,211 - [Leanne] So glad you've got a girlfriend. 340 00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:54,014 - [Anne] And you're not alone. 341 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,851 (gentle music) 342 00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:01,723 ♪ Looking for an awesome spaceship ♪ 343 00:17:01,789 --> 00:17:06,861 ♪ To take me where I need ♪ 344 00:17:07,529 --> 00:17:08,328 ♪ To go ♪ 345 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,496 - [Saira] Oh. 346 00:17:15,503 --> 00:17:17,037 (gentle music) 347 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,574 ♪ 'Cause if I had an awesome spaceship ♪ 348 00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:21,743 - Mm-mm. 349 00:17:21,843 --> 00:17:24,779 ♪ I just might make it ♪ 350 00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:27,047 - Whoa, awesome. 351 00:17:27,682 --> 00:17:30,818 ♪ Where I need to go ♪ 352 00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:35,255 (mystical music) 353 00:17:40,028 --> 00:17:43,297 - Hey, who's there? 354 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,266 (Saira screaming) 355 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,207 (Saira grunting) 356 00:17:54,308 --> 00:17:55,810 (ship beeping) 357 00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:58,412 - Uh-oh. 358 00:17:58,513 --> 00:18:00,347 (ship blasting) 359 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:03,083 (Saira grunts) 360 00:18:07,655 --> 00:18:08,590 Huh? 361 00:18:10,792 --> 00:18:11,726 Huh? 362 00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:15,530 (tense music) 363 00:18:16,631 --> 00:18:17,532 Oh, no. 364 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:29,343 (Ship coughing) 365 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:32,080 - [Ship] Ugh, I thought I was never gonna get off 366 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:33,548 planet of the lesbos. 367 00:18:33,615 --> 00:18:34,616 - Who's there? 368 00:18:34,716 --> 00:18:36,249 - It's me, the ship. 369 00:18:38,086 --> 00:18:41,254 You don't wanna know how long I've been trapped down there, 370 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,724 the things I've seen. 371 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,060 What's your name, sir? 372 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:47,629 - Saira. 373 00:18:47,695 --> 00:18:49,797 - [Ship] That sounds like a girl's name. 374 00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:52,667 - I am a girl. - [Ship] What? 375 00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:54,434 Girls can't be pilots. 376 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,339 - Yeah, this was a mistake, take me back please. 377 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,510 - Here's what I'll do, I'll be your temporary ship. 378 00:19:02,577 --> 00:19:04,244 I'll drop you off at a nail salon 379 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,179 and we'll go our separate ways. 380 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,383 So, Sahara, where are you from? 381 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:10,785 - Clitopolis. 382 00:19:10,885 --> 00:19:13,621 - Yeah, but like where are you from? 383 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,923 - The palace? 384 00:19:15,990 --> 00:19:17,825 - No, no, no, where are you really from? 385 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,428 - Well, my cultural heritage is half Clitopian, 386 00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:22,597 and half Indian. 387 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,299 - Namaste. 388 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:34,642 - [Saira] Hey, please turn around, you don't understand. 389 00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:37,078 I, I've never been outside of the- 390 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,113 - Oh God, that was an awful night. 391 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:42,116 I hope that Shetland pony survived. 392 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:45,586 Oh my God, this fucking song again. (gasps) 393 00:19:45,653 --> 00:19:50,223 ♪ See my face, I'm the Safety Bubble ♪ 394 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:55,362 ♪ That stops all the trouble getting into gay space ♪ 395 00:19:56,864 --> 00:19:57,665 Hey daddy. 396 00:19:57,765 --> 00:19:59,433 - [Ship] Huh? 397 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:03,871 - I am Safety Bubble, fierce protector of gay space. 398 00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:06,406 They say space is a vacuum, but nothing sucks like me. 399 00:20:06,507 --> 00:20:07,575 What are you doing? 400 00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:09,209 - [Ship] Oh, let us out of here. 401 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,112 - Why the hell would you want to go out there? 402 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,581 It's straight, also, it's like way dangerous or whatever. 403 00:20:13,681 --> 00:20:16,216 Or as they say in German. (mumbles indistinctly) 404 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,586 - [Ship] Danger is my middle name, baby. 405 00:20:19,954 --> 00:20:20,955 - Ew, how did you even get in here? 406 00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:22,090 You can definitely leave. 407 00:20:22,156 --> 00:20:25,225 (Safety Bubble screaming) 408 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,861 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 409 00:20:26,961 --> 00:20:29,496 - [Ship] Yes, sweet freedom! 410 00:20:29,597 --> 00:20:31,331 Beautiful, isn't it? 411 00:20:32,466 --> 00:20:33,467 (explosion blasts) 412 00:20:33,534 --> 00:20:35,002 - [Saira] Oh, no. 413 00:20:35,069 --> 00:20:36,137 - [Girlfriend] Babe, what's for dinner? 414 00:20:36,204 --> 00:20:37,304 - [Boyfriend] Chicken. 415 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:38,639 (couple screaming) 416 00:20:38,706 --> 00:20:40,174 - [Saira] Oh, no. 417 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,176 - This one's for my bodacious baby. 418 00:20:44,579 --> 00:20:48,182 ♪ Baby girl, let's go on adventures ♪ 419 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:51,251 ♪ Til the day we're in dentures ♪ 420 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,788 ♪ And grow old, stay young ♪ 421 00:20:53,855 --> 00:20:57,257 ♪ I know you're the one ♪ 422 00:20:59,961 --> 00:21:01,294 I love you, baby girl. 423 00:21:02,496 --> 00:21:03,765 - It's worse than I ever imagined. 424 00:21:06,701 --> 00:21:11,239 ♪ Approximately 23 hours left ♪ 425 00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,808 - Okay, okay, now there are gonna be a lot 426 00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:16,309 of really hot chicks coming in here soon. 427 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:17,845 - Yeah. - And we need to learn 428 00:21:17,912 --> 00:21:20,848 how to charm them bloody heck out of 'em. 429 00:21:20,915 --> 00:21:22,016 - Mm. 430 00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:23,251 - Now Josh is our expert speaker 431 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:25,119 for today. - Hi. 432 00:21:25,219 --> 00:21:27,889 - He was once successful in getting a woman's number. 433 00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:29,757 Now we don't know what happened after that. 434 00:21:29,824 --> 00:21:32,894 We called the number and the line was dead. 435 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,929 I dunno if Josh mistook it down. 436 00:21:34,996 --> 00:21:36,130 - No, phone companies. 437 00:21:36,197 --> 00:21:38,666 - Phone company sort of going, 438 00:21:38,766 --> 00:21:41,468 maybe playing tricky business, maybe doing- 439 00:21:41,536 --> 00:21:43,204 - Tricky business. 440 00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,539 - Maybe tricky business was going on, some sort of- 441 00:21:44,639 --> 00:21:46,207 - Tricky business. 442 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:47,340 - Some sort of tricky business was going on 443 00:21:47,407 --> 00:21:48,576 with the phone companies. 444 00:21:48,676 --> 00:21:50,343 Number didn't work. - Yeah. 445 00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:53,514 - Obviously, phone companies playing tricky business. 446 00:21:53,581 --> 00:21:56,117 Still, huge achievement. 447 00:21:56,217 --> 00:21:59,620 And now Josh is gonna come and he's gonna tell everyone here 448 00:21:59,687 --> 00:22:03,124 what you know about talking to chicks. 449 00:22:03,224 --> 00:22:06,326 - All right, gents, boys, thanks for having me. 450 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:07,962 - [Malien] Josh. 451 00:22:08,029 --> 00:22:08,830 - Show of hands, who wants to meet a chick? 452 00:22:08,930 --> 00:22:10,430 - Me. 453 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:12,465 - Hands up if you don't know the process 454 00:22:12,533 --> 00:22:14,334 of how to go about that, 455 00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:16,838 who wants to walk outta here today with chicks in hand? 456 00:22:16,904 --> 00:22:18,139 - Ooh. - [Malien] Yeah. 457 00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:19,372 - Yeah. - [Malien] Fuck yeah. 458 00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:22,043 - Now, take note boys, all right? 459 00:22:22,143 --> 00:22:24,712 Act like you are listening and then interject 460 00:22:24,779 --> 00:22:28,516 over the top of it, that gets the chicks ticking. 461 00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:31,018 Don't let 'em get a word in edgeways, with me. 462 00:22:31,085 --> 00:22:34,021 - [Maliens] Don't let 'em get a word in edgeways. 463 00:22:34,121 --> 00:22:36,557 - Let them know how much Reddit karma you have, as well. 464 00:22:36,624 --> 00:22:39,594 - I have a lot of opinions on Marvel movies. 465 00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:41,095 Would, would they be interested in them? 466 00:22:41,162 --> 00:22:43,363 - They'll love that. 467 00:22:44,298 --> 00:22:46,366 - Okay, firstly, if you want a chick to like you, 468 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:48,401 you need to connect with them. 469 00:22:48,502 --> 00:22:51,339 Ask questions and listen, 470 00:22:52,573 --> 00:22:54,374 no matter how boring the answers are. 471 00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:57,879 And secondly, let me go now and no one will get hurt. 472 00:22:57,945 --> 00:23:01,215 But if you don't, when I get myself loose, 473 00:23:01,282 --> 00:23:06,320 I will kill every single one of you. 474 00:23:11,125 --> 00:23:12,492 - What did she say? 475 00:23:15,363 --> 00:23:17,698 - Please take me back, this was a mistake. 476 00:23:17,798 --> 00:23:20,768 - What, aren't you excited to get your nails done? 477 00:23:20,835 --> 00:23:22,336 - I don't wanna get my nails done. 478 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:24,171 I have to keep them short, anyway. 479 00:23:24,238 --> 00:23:27,308 - Oh God, well, where can I drop you then, Pilates? 480 00:23:27,675 --> 00:23:29,409 Supermarket? 481 00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:30,778 Why did you even board me 482 00:23:30,878 --> 00:23:32,113 if you don't want to go anywhere? 483 00:23:32,213 --> 00:23:34,782 - Well, I thought- - Come on. 484 00:23:34,882 --> 00:23:37,184 You can't stay with me and I'm not taking you back. 485 00:23:37,251 --> 00:23:39,954 So pick somewhere, chop chop. 486 00:23:40,054 --> 00:23:42,290 - S Club. - I can't hear you. 487 00:23:44,158 --> 00:23:46,459 - Do you know where S Club 17 is? 488 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:50,998 - The party hub, now you're talking. 489 00:23:51,799 --> 00:23:54,669 I can't remember how to get there, though. 490 00:23:56,304 --> 00:23:57,204 Hmm. 491 00:23:58,506 --> 00:24:00,074 I have a good feeling about this way. 492 00:24:01,976 --> 00:24:03,344 (Saira whimpers) 493 00:24:03,411 --> 00:24:05,947 Such a strong feeling about this way. 494 00:24:07,181 --> 00:24:09,050 Don't even think about it. 495 00:24:09,617 --> 00:24:13,087 Now, what takes you to S Club 17, hmm? 496 00:24:13,621 --> 00:24:15,890 - I need to find a way to summon my royal labrys. 497 00:24:15,957 --> 00:24:19,560 - Whoa, yeah, say no more, I know that part of the vagina. 498 00:24:19,627 --> 00:24:21,195 - And then I need to go to the worst, 499 00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:24,031 most dangerous place in the universe. 500 00:24:24,131 --> 00:24:25,199 (Ship shrieking) 501 00:24:25,299 --> 00:24:26,801 - What, are you mental? 502 00:24:26,867 --> 00:24:29,003 - I don't think people say that anymore. 503 00:24:29,070 --> 00:24:32,707 - I'll take you to S Club 17, but no further. 504 00:24:32,807 --> 00:24:34,308 - But my girlfriend is there. 505 00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,677 - What the fuck is your friend doing there? 506 00:24:36,744 --> 00:24:39,680 - She's in trouble and she's my girlfriend. 507 00:24:39,747 --> 00:24:41,515 - Yeah, like a girl who's a friend. 508 00:24:41,582 --> 00:24:45,453 - Like, my partner, I'm literally from Clitopolis. 509 00:24:45,553 --> 00:24:46,787 - Oh, yeah. 510 00:24:48,255 --> 00:24:50,490 - She used to be my girlfriend, at least. 511 00:24:50,591 --> 00:24:53,427 - Wait, so she's your ex? 512 00:24:53,493 --> 00:24:57,798 - Well, technically yes, but maybe if I can save her- 513 00:24:57,865 --> 00:25:00,434 - Oh God, this, this is pathetic. 514 00:25:03,070 --> 00:25:05,840 (upbeat music) 515 00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:10,277 ♪ Here I go ♪ 516 00:25:10,378 --> 00:25:14,382 ♪ Leaving everything I know ♪ 517 00:25:14,448 --> 00:25:18,886 ♪ Because I would go to the edge of space for you ♪ 518 00:25:18,953 --> 00:25:24,058 ♪ Just to hear you say you love me too ♪ 519 00:25:25,092 --> 00:25:26,193 ♪ I'm so scared of being alone ♪ 520 00:25:26,293 --> 00:25:28,329 ♪ Don't wanna end up on my own ♪ 521 00:25:28,429 --> 00:25:30,431 ♪ Live my whole life on a throne ♪ 522 00:25:30,498 --> 00:25:33,267 ♪ Now head into the great unknown ♪ 523 00:25:33,334 --> 00:25:36,070 - Fuck, what am I doing? 524 00:25:36,170 --> 00:25:40,074 ♪ Oh, no ♪ 525 00:25:40,641 --> 00:25:43,444 ♪ Okay, here I go ♪ 526 00:25:43,544 --> 00:25:46,680 ♪ Here I go ♪ 527 00:25:46,747 --> 00:25:51,419 ♪ Leaving everything I know, 'cause I- ♪ 528 00:25:52,286 --> 00:25:53,854 - [Ship] Oh, hello! 529 00:25:53,954 --> 00:25:56,157 No one actually goes the speed limit, poofter. 530 00:25:56,257 --> 00:25:58,059 - You definitely can't say that anymore. 531 00:25:58,125 --> 00:26:00,694 (tense music) 532 00:26:03,631 --> 00:26:04,698 (ship thumps) 533 00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:07,001 - Oh, what is their problem? 534 00:26:07,101 --> 00:26:09,970 Oh, these guys have been rude. 535 00:26:10,037 --> 00:26:10,805 What do you think you're doing? 536 00:26:10,871 --> 00:26:11,806 - Sorry! 537 00:26:11,872 --> 00:26:13,974 - [Ship] Mutiny, mutiny! 538 00:26:14,041 --> 00:26:17,411 I was distracted, for not even one second, 539 00:26:17,512 --> 00:26:19,613 and you have gone and couped me. 540 00:26:19,713 --> 00:26:22,049 I am a man, and I have rights. 541 00:26:22,116 --> 00:26:27,154 My old pilots were right, and you just cannot trust women. 542 00:26:28,122 --> 00:26:30,891 (Ship and Saira screaming) 543 00:26:35,429 --> 00:26:38,199 I'm hurt, I'm hurt, now what are we gonna do? 544 00:26:38,299 --> 00:26:41,635 We're gonna die out here, I told you not to drive. 545 00:26:41,702 --> 00:26:43,370 - Sorry. 546 00:26:43,471 --> 00:26:44,638 - [Ship] You are covering my insurance premiums, 547 00:26:44,705 --> 00:26:46,373 okay, from now on. 548 00:26:46,474 --> 00:26:50,579 - [Saira] Maybe there's moon crystals on this moon? 549 00:26:52,379 --> 00:26:54,583 - [Ship] Even if there was, we don't have anyone capable, 550 00:26:54,682 --> 00:26:58,085 brave, or strong enough to find them. 551 00:26:58,553 --> 00:27:01,155 - Yeah, sorry. 552 00:27:01,255 --> 00:27:06,595 - Sweet, sweet freedom, only to get stuck somewhere else 553 00:27:06,794 --> 00:27:07,428 shitty. 554 00:27:10,131 --> 00:27:12,867 (gentle music) 555 00:27:14,869 --> 00:27:17,506 - What if I went? - [Ship] You? 556 00:27:17,972 --> 00:27:20,141 Ugh, yeah right. 557 00:27:20,207 --> 00:27:22,544 - Well, just sitting here isn't going to help. 558 00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:23,612 How bad could it- 559 00:27:23,711 --> 00:27:26,380 (eerie music) 560 00:27:29,884 --> 00:27:32,286 Be? (gulps) 561 00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:41,829 Oh, thank God. 562 00:27:41,929 --> 00:27:44,098 - It's gone. - [Saira] Oh. 563 00:27:45,499 --> 00:27:47,301 - If you'd have been here two years ago. 564 00:27:49,737 --> 00:27:54,308 It's just me, I'm gonna go over this way. 565 00:27:55,743 --> 00:27:57,244 There's nothing here. 566 00:28:00,114 --> 00:28:02,517 (Saira screams) 567 00:28:02,584 --> 00:28:04,418 Oh, you found a hole. 568 00:28:07,388 --> 00:28:10,157 Ugh, make a friend, lost a friend. 569 00:28:10,257 --> 00:28:12,826 (Saira cries) 570 00:28:15,597 --> 00:28:16,497 - Huh? 571 00:28:17,532 --> 00:28:21,368 ♪ One single moon crystal ♪ 572 00:28:21,468 --> 00:28:25,472 ♪ Look at it shine ♪ 573 00:28:25,540 --> 00:28:30,110 ♪ I want that moon crystal ♪ 574 00:28:30,211 --> 00:28:32,713 ♪ To be mine ♪ 575 00:28:32,780 --> 00:28:37,619 ♪ Oh, moon crystal ♪ 576 00:28:37,718 --> 00:28:40,988 ♪ Moon crystal ♪ 577 00:28:41,088 --> 00:28:44,959 ♪ Oh, moon ♪ 578 00:28:45,059 --> 00:28:47,294 ♪ Crystal ♪ 579 00:28:47,361 --> 00:28:48,829 - Yes. 580 00:28:48,929 --> 00:28:51,198 - So shiny, right? 581 00:28:51,298 --> 00:28:53,100 (tense music) 582 00:28:53,167 --> 00:28:55,903 (Saira screams) 583 00:29:00,174 --> 00:29:05,045 - Please don't hurt me. 584 00:29:05,112 --> 00:29:07,448 - Whoa, do I look like I'm going to hurt you? 585 00:29:10,884 --> 00:29:12,820 Oh, the goth thing? 586 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,724 Oh, it's just a look, I'm not going to hurt you. 587 00:29:15,789 --> 00:29:16,924 I thought you could hear me singing 588 00:29:16,991 --> 00:29:18,425 that moon crystal song. 589 00:29:18,492 --> 00:29:20,327 - What? 590 00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:23,030 Listen, I crashed my ship and I need this moon crystal. 591 00:29:23,130 --> 00:29:26,834 My girlfriend's, well, technically ex-girlfriend's 592 00:29:26,934 --> 00:29:28,469 life depends on it. 593 00:29:28,536 --> 00:29:30,471 - My goodness, you've got a lot on your plate. 594 00:29:30,538 --> 00:29:32,540 Look, I'm just sorry for scaring you. 595 00:29:32,641 --> 00:29:34,676 - Oh, sorry. 596 00:29:34,743 --> 00:29:36,410 - Why are you sorry? 597 00:29:36,511 --> 00:29:37,712 - I don't know. 598 00:29:39,346 --> 00:29:40,582 (footsteps patter) 599 00:29:40,682 --> 00:29:41,849 - Enough apologies. 600 00:29:43,117 --> 00:29:45,953 (magical music) 601 00:29:51,825 --> 00:29:53,394 I'm so glad you are here. 602 00:29:53,460 --> 00:29:55,597 I came to this moon to write my solo album, 603 00:29:55,664 --> 00:29:57,197 but I fell down a hole. 604 00:29:57,298 --> 00:29:58,866 - I fell down a hole, too. 605 00:29:59,768 --> 00:30:01,335 - We have so much in common. 606 00:30:02,002 --> 00:30:04,138 I'm Willow. 607 00:30:04,405 --> 00:30:08,042 - I'm Princess Saira of Clitopolis. 608 00:30:09,476 --> 00:30:10,944 - Whoa, a princess. 609 00:30:11,912 --> 00:30:14,516 Also, I hear that place is famously hard to find. 610 00:30:14,582 --> 00:30:17,786 - It's actually not, if you know what you're doing. 611 00:30:17,885 --> 00:30:21,255 - Well, maybe you could show me the way sometime? 612 00:30:23,991 --> 00:30:27,161 I mean, if we can ever figure out how to get out of here, 613 00:30:27,696 --> 00:30:30,765 let me tell you, I've been down here a while 614 00:30:30,831 --> 00:30:32,866 and there's no obvious way out. 615 00:30:33,834 --> 00:30:39,139 - I'm not sure if this will help, but what if we use that? 616 00:30:39,206 --> 00:30:42,577 (singers vocalising) 617 00:30:42,677 --> 00:30:44,679 - I did not see that. 618 00:30:47,181 --> 00:30:49,116 (Saira grunts) 619 00:30:49,216 --> 00:30:51,285 - Gross, what is this? 620 00:30:51,385 --> 00:30:53,921 - I feel like I should know what that is. 621 00:30:53,987 --> 00:30:57,157 Weird, it wasn't here before you broke the crystal. 622 00:30:57,257 --> 00:30:59,561 (ominous music) 623 00:30:59,627 --> 00:31:02,863 - Great, so this is my fault. 624 00:31:04,031 --> 00:31:06,200 (Saira grunts) 625 00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:08,902 - It's okay, look, these things happen. 626 00:31:09,002 --> 00:31:10,337 Here, let me help you. 627 00:31:10,505 --> 00:31:12,707 - Why is everything always so hard? 628 00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:14,408 (Saira grunts) 629 00:31:14,509 --> 00:31:15,876 - You are so emo. 630 00:31:17,512 --> 00:31:19,246 I love it! 631 00:31:19,346 --> 00:31:22,216 - Why did I think a reject like me could do anything? 632 00:31:22,282 --> 00:31:23,417 (Saira grunts) 633 00:31:23,518 --> 00:31:25,386 - Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay. 634 00:31:25,452 --> 00:31:27,488 - Why is it not targeting you? 635 00:31:27,589 --> 00:31:28,922 - I don't know. 636 00:31:28,989 --> 00:31:31,291 Wow, I'm really grateful for that. 637 00:31:31,392 --> 00:31:34,696 - You're like, annoyingly positive. 638 00:31:34,796 --> 00:31:35,830 (Willow laughs) 639 00:31:35,929 --> 00:31:37,030 - Thanks for saying that. 640 00:31:37,131 --> 00:31:39,299 - Wait, maybe it's responding 641 00:31:39,366 --> 00:31:41,935 to me being negative about myself. 642 00:31:43,370 --> 00:31:46,808 ♪ Gloom goo, do-do-do-do ♪ 643 00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:50,678 ♪ Gloom goo, do-do-do-do ♪ 644 00:31:50,745 --> 00:31:54,181 ♪ If you give it bad vibes ♪ 645 00:31:54,248 --> 00:31:57,619 ♪ It will eat you alive ♪ 646 00:32:00,655 --> 00:32:03,924 Sorry, I remember now, we sang a song about this. 647 00:32:03,991 --> 00:32:05,660 It's this incredibly dangerous sentient goo 648 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,194 that feeds on bad vibes. 649 00:32:08,328 --> 00:32:10,964 - So I should just say something 650 00:32:11,031 --> 00:32:13,835 positive about myself, right? 651 00:32:13,934 --> 00:32:14,935 - Great idea. 652 00:32:17,539 --> 00:32:19,206 Come on, quick. 653 00:32:19,306 --> 00:32:20,207 - I, 654 00:32:23,745 --> 00:32:24,913 I don't know. 655 00:32:26,947 --> 00:32:28,449 - You don't know? 656 00:32:29,950 --> 00:32:30,852 Saira? 657 00:32:31,952 --> 00:32:32,887 Saira! 658 00:32:33,987 --> 00:32:35,723 (ominous music) 659 00:32:35,790 --> 00:32:37,491 Really good at holding a conversation, 660 00:32:37,592 --> 00:32:39,627 and I can write a song about basically anything. 661 00:32:39,727 --> 00:32:42,831 I did a great job coordinating my spikes and chains today, 662 00:32:42,931 --> 00:32:45,667 I have the voice of an angel, my eyebrows are great, 663 00:32:45,767 --> 00:32:47,267 and also my guitar, 664 00:32:47,334 --> 00:32:49,203 my public speaking has never been better. 665 00:32:49,303 --> 00:32:50,638 I'm ambitious, and I'm brave. 666 00:32:50,705 --> 00:32:52,172 And if I was a Pokemon, 667 00:32:52,239 --> 00:32:54,041 I'd be a freaking Pikachu, I'm that cute. 668 00:32:54,975 --> 00:32:57,712 (playful music) 669 00:32:58,947 --> 00:33:01,616 (Saira grunts) 670 00:33:07,655 --> 00:33:08,923 (Saira grunts) 671 00:33:08,989 --> 00:33:11,391 - [Saira] No, the crystal. 672 00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,293 - [Willow] Just forget it, keep going. 673 00:33:13,393 --> 00:33:17,130 - Stupid, stupid, stupid, I needed that crystal. 674 00:33:17,197 --> 00:33:18,600 I couldn't do it. 675 00:33:18,666 --> 00:33:20,334 - [Willow] Stop, you're encouraging it. 676 00:33:23,070 --> 00:33:24,806 It's gonna blow! 677 00:33:24,873 --> 00:33:25,974 - [Ship] What did you do? 678 00:33:26,039 --> 00:33:27,709 - I'm sorry. 679 00:33:27,809 --> 00:33:29,878 - [Ship] Please tell me you've got the moon crystal. 680 00:33:29,978 --> 00:33:31,078 - Yes. 681 00:33:31,178 --> 00:33:32,179 - [Ship] Oh, that's a relief. 682 00:33:32,246 --> 00:33:34,849 - But then I lost it. 683 00:33:34,916 --> 00:33:38,786 - [Ship] I knew you couldn't do it, you idiot! 684 00:33:38,887 --> 00:33:41,956 Now we're completely fucked! 685 00:33:42,055 --> 00:33:45,392 - Oh man, it's a shame we can't use that one. 686 00:33:48,663 --> 00:33:49,764 (goo blasting) 687 00:33:49,831 --> 00:33:51,331 Where to next? 688 00:33:51,431 --> 00:33:52,867 I'm driving. 689 00:33:52,967 --> 00:33:54,636 - [Ship] Where the fuck did she come from? 690 00:33:54,702 --> 00:33:55,803 - [Willow] They. 691 00:33:55,870 --> 00:33:57,639 - [Ship] There's more than one? 692 00:33:57,705 --> 00:34:02,810 ♪ Approximately 18 hours left before ♪ 693 00:34:05,345 --> 00:34:07,247 ♪ Kiki dies ♪ 694 00:34:07,347 --> 00:34:10,050 - Okay, so just remember when your permanent is tapped, 695 00:34:10,117 --> 00:34:13,588 you can't tap that card again until it's been untapped. 696 00:34:13,655 --> 00:34:16,624 - And only when your turn begins. 697 00:34:16,724 --> 00:34:21,128 When your turn begins, then you can untap your tap cards 698 00:34:21,194 --> 00:34:22,462 so they can be used again. 699 00:34:22,530 --> 00:34:23,631 Do you understand? 700 00:34:23,698 --> 00:34:25,033 (Kiki pants) 701 00:34:25,132 --> 00:34:26,433 - Oh, and there are different phases 702 00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:27,635 each with their own set of rules. 703 00:34:27,702 --> 00:34:29,202 So the beginning phase rules- 704 00:34:29,303 --> 00:34:32,172 - Please, stop, if you don't stop, 705 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,742 I'm going to make you stop, I mean it. 706 00:34:34,842 --> 00:34:38,780 I really am going to get myself loose any minute now. 707 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,784 - Why can't you chicks ever like what we like? 708 00:34:42,884 --> 00:34:44,519 Now about the beginning phase. 709 00:34:44,586 --> 00:34:46,788 - Ooh, yes, the beginning phase. 710 00:34:46,888 --> 00:34:49,423 (Kiki sobbing) 711 00:34:49,489 --> 00:34:52,225 - Wait, so you need this labrys thing to save Kiki, 712 00:34:52,292 --> 00:34:54,328 and your only hope is that this Blade person 713 00:34:54,428 --> 00:34:55,964 that you found on the future net, 714 00:34:56,030 --> 00:34:57,832 and know nothing about, will be able to help? 715 00:34:59,199 --> 00:35:00,434 - Yeah, I know, it's- 716 00:35:00,500 --> 00:35:03,838 - Such a good plan. 717 00:35:03,905 --> 00:35:05,138 - [Ship] Is it, though? 718 00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:10,444 Hey, be careful, go straight, go straight. 719 00:35:10,545 --> 00:35:12,080 - Typical. 720 00:35:12,179 --> 00:35:14,616 I'll have you know, I'm actually bisexual. 721 00:35:14,716 --> 00:35:16,851 - [Ship] Are bisexuals really a thing? 722 00:35:16,918 --> 00:35:20,555 - Where did you find this thing, the 21st century? 723 00:35:20,622 --> 00:35:23,658 - Yeah, that is where I'm from. 724 00:35:23,758 --> 00:35:25,392 - [Both] Oh. 725 00:35:25,459 --> 00:35:28,096 - Hey, thanks for saving me back there. 726 00:35:28,161 --> 00:35:31,599 - Oh, no, thank you, that was a thrill. 727 00:35:31,666 --> 00:35:35,003 Besides, I might not have found that ladder without you. 728 00:35:35,103 --> 00:35:37,038 I'm not super observant. 729 00:35:37,137 --> 00:35:39,574 Or book smart or street smart. 730 00:35:39,674 --> 00:35:42,142 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Why? 731 00:35:42,209 --> 00:35:45,412 It's not a bad thing, I'm just smart in other ways. 732 00:35:45,513 --> 00:35:47,381 Like I'm super creative. 733 00:35:47,447 --> 00:35:49,017 - That's right, you're a songwriter? 734 00:35:49,083 --> 00:35:52,120 - Trying to be, you see... 735 00:35:52,219 --> 00:35:54,287 - [Ship] Oh, oh, oh, you better not sing it. 736 00:35:54,388 --> 00:35:56,124 (guitar strums) 737 00:35:56,223 --> 00:35:57,659 (gentle music) 738 00:35:57,759 --> 00:36:02,830 ♪ I was in a gay pop band ♪ 739 00:36:04,197 --> 00:36:09,302 ♪ We were in high demand ♪ 740 00:36:10,470 --> 00:36:14,542 ♪ We'd dance and sing and dance ♪ 741 00:36:14,642 --> 00:36:19,047 ♪ Our life great, at a glance ♪ 742 00:36:19,113 --> 00:36:23,084 ♪ But really, we were prisoners of gay pop ♪ 743 00:36:23,183 --> 00:36:27,588 ♪ Forced to dance and sing nonstop ♪ 744 00:36:27,655 --> 00:36:31,893 ♪ But somehow to me, it all felt wrong ♪ 745 00:36:31,959 --> 00:36:35,663 ♪ I dreamed to write not shared songs ♪ 746 00:36:35,763 --> 00:36:40,835 ♪ So I decided I would break free ♪ 747 00:36:43,470 --> 00:36:48,543 ♪ Become the songwriter I always wanted to be ♪ 748 00:36:49,977 --> 00:36:51,879 ♪ Hmm ♪ 749 00:36:59,954 --> 00:37:01,789 - Wow. - [Ship] Fuck my life. 750 00:37:01,856 --> 00:37:04,592 - They never used to let me play my own songs. 751 00:37:04,659 --> 00:37:05,927 They said they were too 752 00:37:06,928 --> 00:37:08,096 indie. 753 00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:11,699 Now, I finally get to figure out my own music 754 00:37:11,799 --> 00:37:13,300 separate from the group. 755 00:37:13,366 --> 00:37:15,536 I thought I'd be able to write songs on the moon, 756 00:37:15,636 --> 00:37:19,306 but let me tell you, there was not a lot to write about. 757 00:37:19,372 --> 00:37:22,977 But I'm hoping hanging with you will inspire some songs. 758 00:37:23,044 --> 00:37:28,082 I mean, an inter galactic space quest to save your ex? 759 00:37:28,583 --> 00:37:29,917 Oh, wow. 760 00:37:30,017 --> 00:37:32,220 - Oh, I'm actually really boring. 761 00:37:33,054 --> 00:37:34,321 - I don't think you are. 762 00:37:35,623 --> 00:37:38,458 (romantic music) 763 00:37:38,559 --> 00:37:41,261 - [Ship] No, I think she is, she really is. 764 00:37:41,328 --> 00:37:45,967 - Look, I love the emo vibe, but you must have something 765 00:37:46,033 --> 00:37:48,770 positive to say about yourself, right? 766 00:37:51,139 --> 00:37:53,241 What's something you're good at? 767 00:37:54,509 --> 00:37:59,180 - Well, I'm not bad at magic. 768 00:37:59,247 --> 00:38:01,883 - That's so cool, I'd love to see a trick. 769 00:38:01,949 --> 00:38:03,785 - No, you wouldn't. 770 00:38:03,885 --> 00:38:07,387 - Ah, yeah, I would- - Pick a card. 771 00:38:09,123 --> 00:38:10,758 - Ooh. - [Saira] Okay. 772 00:38:10,825 --> 00:38:13,261 So we're going to use your card, the ace of hearts, 773 00:38:13,326 --> 00:38:14,629 and put it in the middle of the deck. 774 00:38:14,695 --> 00:38:16,429 - Yeah. - [Saira] Because it's one 775 00:38:16,496 --> 00:38:18,298 of the only cards that acts like a helium balloon. 776 00:38:18,365 --> 00:38:19,834 If I push it the whole way in. 777 00:38:19,934 --> 00:38:21,002 - [Willow] Uh-huh. - [Saira] Like this, 778 00:38:21,102 --> 00:38:22,469 and snap my fingers. (snaps) 779 00:38:22,537 --> 00:38:24,038 Did you see it come back to the top? 780 00:38:24,138 --> 00:38:25,506 - What the freak? 781 00:38:25,573 --> 00:38:27,307 - We'll do it again, we'll take it. 782 00:38:28,676 --> 00:38:30,511 We'll put it in the middle like that, 783 00:38:30,578 --> 00:38:32,213 now if I don't snap my fingers, 784 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,682 the card doesn't come to the top. 785 00:38:34,749 --> 00:38:37,752 But if I either snap or cover it just for a second 786 00:38:37,852 --> 00:38:39,187 did you see it come back to the top? 787 00:38:39,253 --> 00:38:41,522 - Oh my God! 788 00:38:42,422 --> 00:38:44,725 - We'll try this one more time, I'll take it just like this. 789 00:38:44,792 --> 00:38:46,894 In fact, I might use your hand for this. 790 00:38:46,961 --> 00:38:48,629 (Willow panting) 791 00:38:48,696 --> 00:38:51,199 You can press it, the whole way in, into the middle. 792 00:38:51,299 --> 00:38:52,166 (Willow yelps) 793 00:38:52,266 --> 00:38:53,968 Here we go. 794 00:38:54,302 --> 00:38:55,203 Oh. 795 00:38:57,238 --> 00:38:58,405 Huh? 796 00:38:58,506 --> 00:39:00,975 - What did, how, wait, oh my God! 797 00:39:01,042 --> 00:39:05,680 That's so cool, you're really good. 798 00:39:06,180 --> 00:39:08,950 - No one's ever stayed for a whole trick before. 799 00:39:09,283 --> 00:39:12,086 - Well, they're missing out. 800 00:39:12,787 --> 00:39:15,723 (romantic music) 801 00:39:21,963 --> 00:39:23,831 - What do you guys think about the sex scene 802 00:39:23,931 --> 00:39:26,167 in "Blue is the Warmest Colour?" 803 00:39:27,467 --> 00:39:30,204 (gentle music) 804 00:39:36,677 --> 00:39:41,749 ♪ I fell down a hole ♪ 805 00:39:42,783 --> 00:39:46,888 ♪ And so did you ♪ 806 00:39:46,954 --> 00:39:51,391 ♪ What a silly thing ♪ 807 00:39:51,458 --> 00:39:55,263 ♪ For us to do ♪ 808 00:39:55,329 --> 00:39:59,166 ♪ But we made it out somehow ♪ 809 00:39:59,267 --> 00:40:02,270 ♪ Take a look at us right now ♪ 810 00:40:02,336 --> 00:40:05,640 ♪ Oh, Saira and me ♪ 811 00:40:05,706 --> 00:40:09,409 ♪ Zooming through the gay-laxy ♪ 812 00:40:09,510 --> 00:40:13,581 ♪ There's nowhere I'd rather be ♪ 813 00:40:14,882 --> 00:40:18,252 (Willow vocalising) 814 00:40:18,352 --> 00:40:23,423 ♪ Oh, Saira and me, zooming through the gay-laxy ♪ 815 00:40:25,660 --> 00:40:30,765 ♪ Something, something different lyrics ♪ 816 00:40:31,464 --> 00:40:32,499 (Saira laughs) 817 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,001 I'm figuring that one out. 818 00:40:34,101 --> 00:40:37,571 (gentle music continues) 819 00:40:44,612 --> 00:40:45,746 (upbeat music) 820 00:40:45,846 --> 00:40:47,782 (people cheering) 821 00:40:47,882 --> 00:40:50,952 All right here, we are, S Club 17. 822 00:40:51,052 --> 00:40:52,286 This is where that lady who can help you 823 00:40:52,386 --> 00:40:54,221 find your laprys will be. 824 00:40:54,288 --> 00:40:57,925 - You mean, we have to go in there? 825 00:40:58,759 --> 00:41:01,062 (partygoer sniffing) 826 00:41:01,128 --> 00:41:02,430 - Yeah. 827 00:41:02,495 --> 00:41:04,932 - Not looking like this, we won't. 828 00:41:04,999 --> 00:41:08,669 It's montage time, baby! 829 00:41:08,769 --> 00:41:10,571 - What? 830 00:41:10,671 --> 00:41:12,239 ♪ Yeah, I'm in your city, getting busy for my people ♪ 831 00:41:12,340 --> 00:41:14,041 - Oh, I'm good with what I've got on. 832 00:41:14,141 --> 00:41:16,143 - Come on, you can't go in there like that. 833 00:41:16,210 --> 00:41:18,045 - But Kiki gave this to me. 834 00:41:18,112 --> 00:41:19,246 - Seriously? 835 00:41:19,347 --> 00:41:21,849 What's so great about this Kiki? 836 00:41:21,916 --> 00:41:23,250 - Well, 837 00:41:23,351 --> 00:41:25,720 she's just like, 838 00:41:26,053 --> 00:41:27,388 really 839 00:41:27,487 --> 00:41:29,323 fucking hot. 840 00:41:29,423 --> 00:41:32,059 (Willow laughs) 841 00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:34,695 - Wait, is that seriously it? 842 00:41:35,596 --> 00:41:40,768 - It's just, there's only one Kiki the Destroyer. 843 00:41:41,602 --> 00:41:45,406 No one ever gave me a chance, but she did. 844 00:41:46,073 --> 00:41:47,908 And being with her was like getting the keys 845 00:41:48,009 --> 00:41:50,177 to this better life. 846 00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:55,549 Without her, I'm like, nothing. 847 00:41:57,451 --> 00:41:59,787 - You know, that's kind of how I felt 848 00:41:59,887 --> 00:42:01,322 after I left the group. 849 00:42:01,422 --> 00:42:04,125 But you know what made me feel better? 850 00:42:05,459 --> 00:42:07,128 A makeover! 851 00:42:07,194 --> 00:42:09,296 Come on, it's time to make you fucking hot, too. 852 00:42:09,363 --> 00:42:12,700 Not that you aren't already, I mean, that came out wrong. 853 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,502 ♪ Feeling buzzy, feeling cheeky ♪ 854 00:42:14,602 --> 00:42:15,870 ♪ I don't need you, but you need me ♪ 855 00:42:15,970 --> 00:42:17,671 - Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, mm-hmm. 856 00:42:17,738 --> 00:42:21,075 (singer vocalising) 857 00:42:21,175 --> 00:42:22,243 (Willow mimics sad trombone) 858 00:42:22,343 --> 00:42:23,878 (singer vocalising) 859 00:42:23,944 --> 00:42:24,845 (Saira yelps) 860 00:42:24,912 --> 00:42:28,049 - [Willow] Sorry! 861 00:42:28,115 --> 00:42:29,250 - Willow? 862 00:42:29,350 --> 00:42:30,451 - Sorry, sorry. 863 00:42:30,551 --> 00:42:31,919 (singer vocalising) 864 00:42:32,019 --> 00:42:33,320 ♪ Acting like Madonna ♪ 865 00:42:33,421 --> 00:42:36,123 - Bow-wow! (barking) 866 00:42:36,223 --> 00:42:38,125 (singer vocalising) 867 00:42:38,225 --> 00:42:40,628 ♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪ 868 00:42:40,694 --> 00:42:42,029 - It's perfect. 869 00:42:43,831 --> 00:42:46,834 (uplifting music) 870 00:42:52,173 --> 00:42:53,474 - What did you do? 871 00:42:53,674 --> 00:42:55,476 Take off- - I took off the jumper. 872 00:42:55,810 --> 00:42:59,046 (Willow whimpers) 873 00:42:59,113 --> 00:43:02,950 (uplifting music continues) 874 00:43:08,656 --> 00:43:10,391 - Okay, I'll beam you over now. 875 00:43:10,458 --> 00:43:12,561 Do you remember how to get back? 876 00:43:12,626 --> 00:43:13,727 - Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 877 00:43:13,794 --> 00:43:15,596 - [Ship] You sound unsure. 878 00:43:15,663 --> 00:43:17,164 Okay, let me explain again. 879 00:43:17,264 --> 00:43:19,867 - Thanks so much, but I think we got it, 880 00:43:19,967 --> 00:43:21,268 the first three times you told us. 881 00:43:21,335 --> 00:43:23,137 - Oh, you say that now. 882 00:43:23,204 --> 00:43:25,306 But it can be pretty easy to get confused and mixed up, 883 00:43:25,372 --> 00:43:28,510 especially if you're a lady, or whatever you are. 884 00:43:28,577 --> 00:43:30,744 And you know, not used to tech stuff. 885 00:43:30,845 --> 00:43:33,013 - [Willow] Honestly, I reckon we got this. 886 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,849 - Just one more time. 887 00:43:34,915 --> 00:43:37,451 What you need to do is get up the remote beam tracker 888 00:43:37,552 --> 00:43:40,454 and press the beam button. 889 00:43:41,155 --> 00:43:42,823 Oh, fuck my life. 890 00:43:42,923 --> 00:43:45,459 (upbeat music) 891 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:46,894 - Thank God! 892 00:43:46,961 --> 00:43:49,096 He just kept talking and talking. 893 00:43:49,163 --> 00:43:51,665 - I can't believe I did that. 894 00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:55,302 - I love this place. 895 00:43:55,369 --> 00:43:57,404 - Oh, God. 896 00:43:58,072 --> 00:44:00,875 ♪ Lost my shit ♪ 897 00:44:00,975 --> 00:44:05,346 - I'm Blade, this is my club. 898 00:44:05,580 --> 00:44:08,449 - Oh man, it's gonna be hard finding Blade. 899 00:44:08,550 --> 00:44:09,584 - That was easy. 900 00:44:09,683 --> 00:44:11,185 - Okay, what's the plan. 901 00:44:11,252 --> 00:44:12,753 - Should we go up and say hi? 902 00:44:12,820 --> 00:44:16,290 - But how will we get into the air vent? 903 00:44:16,357 --> 00:44:18,425 - What if she actually doesn't want to help? 904 00:44:18,492 --> 00:44:21,795 - Genius, okay, you go find a screwdriver, 905 00:44:21,862 --> 00:44:24,031 and I'll get the pineapple. 906 00:44:24,165 --> 00:44:28,335 - You're right, we can do this if we're together. 907 00:44:29,803 --> 00:44:31,205 (person speaks indistinctly) 908 00:44:31,305 --> 00:44:33,474 - [Bouncer] This is VIP. 909 00:44:35,342 --> 00:44:36,410 - Willow? 910 00:44:36,511 --> 00:44:38,345 (outline beeps) 911 00:44:38,412 --> 00:44:40,515 ♪ PRN, 'cause I've lost my shit ♪ 912 00:44:40,582 --> 00:44:43,585 ♪ Give me a PRN, 'cause I've lost my shit ♪ 913 00:44:43,684 --> 00:44:46,887 ♪ Give me a PRN, 'cause I've lost my shit ♪ 914 00:44:46,954 --> 00:44:49,723 ♪ Give me a PRN ♪ 915 00:44:55,530 --> 00:44:56,864 (water trickling) 916 00:44:56,964 --> 00:44:59,601 - [Monster] Willow ditched you. 917 00:44:59,668 --> 00:45:02,369 Your plans are stupid. 918 00:45:02,637 --> 00:45:05,574 Blade doesn't wanna help you. 919 00:45:05,674 --> 00:45:08,677 You will always be broken. 920 00:45:09,009 --> 00:45:11,680 You should just give up. 921 00:45:14,748 --> 00:45:17,084 - We need to talk 922 00:45:17,418 --> 00:45:22,256 about Ryan. (crying) 923 00:45:24,626 --> 00:45:28,095 I swear he's cheating on me with Stephanie, 924 00:45:28,162 --> 00:45:31,365 and he is totally gaslighting me. 925 00:45:31,465 --> 00:45:32,866 Like, why would he post all those selfies with her, 926 00:45:34,468 --> 00:45:36,737 and what, you know, what is, if that's just the vibe, 927 00:45:36,837 --> 00:45:38,739 but like, don't tell me I'm crazy. 928 00:45:38,839 --> 00:45:43,310 That's how things ended the last time. (sobbing) 929 00:45:49,618 --> 00:45:53,120 So like I'm, (hiccups) I'm not crazy, right? 930 00:45:54,321 --> 00:45:55,724 Right? - What? 931 00:45:55,823 --> 00:45:57,324 - Thanks for agreeing. 932 00:45:57,424 --> 00:46:00,227 So yeah, he just always puts himself before me, 933 00:46:00,294 --> 00:46:03,931 and makes me feel like a loser. (sobbing) 934 00:46:10,337 --> 00:46:12,072 - You shouldn't let him make you feel so terrible. 935 00:46:12,172 --> 00:46:13,642 Why do you let him do that? 936 00:46:15,042 --> 00:46:20,114 - He's just, like, really fucking hot. 937 00:46:21,382 --> 00:46:24,218 I just, I can't believe he likes me. 938 00:46:27,421 --> 00:46:31,660 - Surely there's lots to love? 939 00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:37,197 - Well, I do listen a lot when he's talking 940 00:46:37,298 --> 00:46:39,033 to me about his video game. 941 00:46:39,133 --> 00:46:41,101 I don't even, I don't know what's going on in there, 942 00:46:41,168 --> 00:46:42,936 but he seems really excited. 943 00:46:43,003 --> 00:46:46,006 So he's telling me about AK-47. 944 00:46:46,073 --> 00:46:49,577 I don't know what that is, but it makes him happy. 945 00:46:49,678 --> 00:46:51,513 And I'm really good at shoplifting. 946 00:46:52,681 --> 00:46:56,785 - It sounds like this Ryan 947 00:46:56,884 --> 00:46:59,086 doesn't appreciate how great you are. 948 00:47:00,622 --> 00:47:02,389 - Oh my God, you're right. 949 00:47:02,456 --> 00:47:05,826 Thanks, babes, I needed to hear that. (laughs) 950 00:47:05,926 --> 00:47:07,762 It's wild to think I won't remember any of this 951 00:47:07,828 --> 00:47:09,631 in the morning and we'll never see each other ever again. 952 00:47:09,698 --> 00:47:11,031 You know what? 953 00:47:11,131 --> 00:47:13,033 You're right, screw him, I'm great. 954 00:47:14,034 --> 00:47:15,804 You're like the wisest, coolest, 955 00:47:15,869 --> 00:47:18,005 prettiest person I've ever met. 956 00:47:19,808 --> 00:47:21,810 You fucking rock, girl. 957 00:47:22,309 --> 00:47:24,211 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 958 00:47:24,311 --> 00:47:26,715 (person speaks indistinctly) 959 00:47:26,781 --> 00:47:31,251 - Hey, Blade, I need to speak to you, please? 960 00:47:31,352 --> 00:47:32,886 - What? 961 00:47:32,953 --> 00:47:35,623 - I said, I need to speak to you, please. 962 00:47:37,291 --> 00:47:38,560 - What? 963 00:47:38,626 --> 00:47:40,961 - I said- - I'll come down. 964 00:47:41,061 --> 00:47:43,163 (throne beeping) 965 00:47:43,263 --> 00:47:44,431 Coming down. 966 00:47:46,534 --> 00:47:49,671 Fucking, fucking. (indistinct) 967 00:47:50,471 --> 00:47:53,307 (throne beeping) 968 00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:57,911 Well, hello. 969 00:47:58,011 --> 00:47:58,912 - Hi. 970 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:01,750 How's it going? 971 00:48:01,850 --> 00:48:04,351 I'm Princess Saira from- 972 00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:06,621 - I know who you are. 973 00:48:06,721 --> 00:48:08,889 - Ah, cool, yeah, yeah, well, yeah. 974 00:48:08,956 --> 00:48:11,458 I saw on the future net that you might be able 975 00:48:11,559 --> 00:48:14,428 to help me summon my royal labrys? 976 00:48:14,495 --> 00:48:17,498 - You think you can just come into my club, 977 00:48:17,599 --> 00:48:22,136 march into the VIP area, make me come down from my throne, 978 00:48:22,202 --> 00:48:25,339 and expect me to just help you summon your labrys? 979 00:48:25,406 --> 00:48:28,710 If that's what you think, you would be 980 00:48:28,810 --> 00:48:32,246 absolutely right. (laughs) 981 00:48:32,346 --> 00:48:35,282 I am so excited you're here. 982 00:48:35,382 --> 00:48:38,887 Princess Saira, it would be my honour 983 00:48:38,952 --> 00:48:41,088 to help you out, darling. 984 00:48:41,155 --> 00:48:42,891 - Oh, oh my God, really? 985 00:48:44,158 --> 00:48:45,560 Thank you. 986 00:48:45,627 --> 00:48:46,493 - Get up, you little sweaty bitch. 987 00:48:49,296 --> 00:48:52,199 You know, we're actually not so different, Princess Saira. 988 00:48:52,299 --> 00:48:53,934 - Really? 989 00:48:54,001 --> 00:48:55,670 - I mean, my parents aren't queens or anything, 990 00:48:57,304 --> 00:49:01,341 but they are renowned psychologists, and ooh girl, 991 00:49:01,408 --> 00:49:04,211 when people talked shit about me, (laughs) 992 00:49:04,311 --> 00:49:07,381 I tried for the longest time to fit in, 993 00:49:07,448 --> 00:49:11,553 and be the psychological professional my parents wished for. 994 00:49:11,619 --> 00:49:16,724 But I realised if there's no room for you to be yourself, 995 00:49:18,091 --> 00:49:19,928 fuck it, go and make it yourself, girl. 996 00:49:19,993 --> 00:49:22,931 I finally followed my real passion. 997 00:49:22,996 --> 00:49:24,799 - Drag? - Weapons. 998 00:49:25,499 --> 00:49:28,703 They love the drag, but the weapons, they said, 999 00:49:28,803 --> 00:49:31,573 "Blade, your behaviour is very concerning." 1000 00:49:31,673 --> 00:49:33,708 But like, don't call your kid Blade 1001 00:49:33,808 --> 00:49:37,712 and expect them not to be into blades, right? 1002 00:49:37,812 --> 00:49:40,915 Speaking of blades, your labrys. 1003 00:49:41,014 --> 00:49:42,684 I'll tell you what's causing you trouble. 1004 00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:44,619 As with all metaphysical weapons, 1005 00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:48,388 the key to unlocking your labrys is a mental one. 1006 00:49:48,455 --> 00:49:50,090 The wiring is all there. 1007 00:49:50,157 --> 00:49:51,759 You just need to make the right connections. 1008 00:49:51,826 --> 00:49:54,461 - So, I'm not broken? 1009 00:49:54,562 --> 00:49:57,966 - Not at all, and luckily, I happen to know 1010 00:49:58,031 --> 00:50:00,200 a thing or two about psychology. 1011 00:50:00,300 --> 00:50:04,739 Now let mama help you find your labrys, you ready? 1012 00:50:04,839 --> 00:50:05,740 - Mm-hmm. 1013 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,877 - Okay, close your eyes. 1014 00:50:09,878 --> 00:50:11,713 - This is safe, right? 1015 00:50:11,779 --> 00:50:13,113 (Blade laughs) 1016 00:50:13,213 --> 00:50:16,518 - Of course, we're only meditating. 1017 00:50:18,352 --> 00:50:21,556 I want you to take a deep breath in. 1018 00:50:21,623 --> 00:50:23,958 (Saira inhales) 1019 00:50:24,057 --> 00:50:25,560 And out. 1020 00:50:25,627 --> 00:50:28,362 (Saira exhales) 1021 00:50:32,199 --> 00:50:34,969 (gentle music) 1022 00:50:40,474 --> 00:50:42,710 Now babes, it might feel like 1023 00:50:42,810 --> 00:50:45,112 you're not in control of your own mind, 1024 00:50:45,212 --> 00:50:47,782 but just a conscious is actually trying 1025 00:50:47,882 --> 00:50:50,450 to protect you in a roundabout kind of way, 1026 00:50:50,552 --> 00:50:52,419 and a saboteur, all that shit. 1027 00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,924 But it's only as powerful as you let it be. 1028 00:50:56,390 --> 00:51:01,194 Now look around at your surroundings, what do you notice? 1029 00:51:03,096 --> 00:51:05,533 Reach out and touch the door. 1030 00:51:05,633 --> 00:51:09,136 Feel the handle, feel its smoothness. 1031 00:51:09,202 --> 00:51:10,905 - [Monster] This won't work. 1032 00:51:11,005 --> 00:51:13,240 - [Blade] Remember, you're the boss. 1033 00:51:13,340 --> 00:51:14,676 Breathe in. 1034 00:51:14,742 --> 00:51:16,343 (Saira inhales) 1035 00:51:16,410 --> 00:51:17,812 And out. 1036 00:51:17,879 --> 00:51:19,747 (Saira exhales) 1037 00:51:19,847 --> 00:51:24,919 At your own pace, hold the handle firmly and pull. 1038 00:51:29,791 --> 00:51:32,560 (ominous music) 1039 00:51:42,102 --> 00:51:44,839 (Saira exhales) 1040 00:51:55,683 --> 00:51:58,519 (Saira whimpers) 1041 00:51:59,921 --> 00:52:03,925 - Wait, Saira, I wanna hang out with you. 1042 00:52:06,259 --> 00:52:09,296 Just kidding, I ditched you because you- 1043 00:52:09,363 --> 00:52:10,430 - Bore me. 1044 00:52:10,497 --> 00:52:12,600 Bore me, bore me. 1045 00:52:12,667 --> 00:52:13,835 Bore me. 1046 00:52:13,935 --> 00:52:15,103 You bore me. 1047 00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:34,088 (labrys droning) 1048 00:52:34,154 --> 00:52:37,424 (footsteps pattering) 1049 00:52:38,893 --> 00:52:41,829 (ominous music continues) 1050 00:52:41,929 --> 00:52:44,364 - [Person] Why do we keep trying? 1051 00:52:44,464 --> 00:52:45,867 - [Kiki] Boring. 1052 00:52:49,537 --> 00:52:50,805 - [Saira] Huh? 1053 00:52:54,676 --> 00:52:57,945 Can't you just stay here with me today? 1054 00:52:58,046 --> 00:52:59,580 - [Leanne] We can't, 1055 00:52:59,681 --> 00:53:03,017 we'll be late for our royal orgy, sweetie. 1056 00:53:07,588 --> 00:53:09,724 - [Saira] Can I show you my magic show now? 1057 00:53:09,791 --> 00:53:11,458 - [Anne] Not now, Saira, we're gonna be late 1058 00:53:11,559 --> 00:53:13,961 for our own burlesque show, much cooler than magic. 1059 00:53:14,062 --> 00:53:16,631 - [Leanne] You should do burlesque instead. 1060 00:53:16,698 --> 00:53:18,198 - [Saira] I'm 10. 1061 00:53:20,001 --> 00:53:22,637 Wanna come over after school, maybe? 1062 00:53:22,704 --> 00:53:25,139 - [Friend] Will the queens be there? 1063 00:53:25,205 --> 00:53:28,341 - [Saira] No, they're away. 1064 00:53:28,643 --> 00:53:30,878 - [Friend] Sorry, I can't. 1065 00:53:31,846 --> 00:53:34,582 (sombre music) 1066 00:53:39,754 --> 00:53:42,824 - [Anne] What did we do wrong, it can't be us. 1067 00:53:42,924 --> 00:53:44,959 - [Leanne] Waste of space. 1068 00:53:45,059 --> 00:53:48,563 (sombre music continues) 1069 00:54:04,645 --> 00:54:05,947 (person speaking indistinctly) 1070 00:54:06,047 --> 00:54:07,849 - [Person] Something wrong with her. 1071 00:54:07,915 --> 00:54:10,918 (footsteps patter) 1072 00:54:14,922 --> 00:54:16,991 (person speaking indistinctly) 1073 00:54:17,091 --> 00:54:20,128 - [Anne] Happened the first try, right? 1074 00:54:20,228 --> 00:54:23,097 - [Moms] You can't have it. 1075 00:54:23,164 --> 00:54:24,599 - But it's mine. 1076 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,970 - [Moms] You're not good enough for it. 1077 00:54:31,172 --> 00:54:35,843 - Yes, I am. 1078 00:54:35,910 --> 00:54:38,513 (Saira yells) 1079 00:54:47,588 --> 00:54:49,791 (gentle music) 1080 00:54:49,891 --> 00:54:53,326 (chains rattling) 1081 00:54:53,426 --> 00:54:56,496 (singer vocalising) 1082 00:54:59,667 --> 00:55:02,435 (Saira panting) 1083 00:55:13,114 --> 00:55:15,783 (magical music) 1084 00:55:15,883 --> 00:55:19,053 (singers vocalising) 1085 00:55:26,594 --> 00:55:28,996 Yes, finally, yes, yes, yes. 1086 00:55:30,097 --> 00:55:31,833 - Yoink. - Yes? 1087 00:55:31,933 --> 00:55:34,001 - I'll take that. - Huh? 1088 00:55:34,101 --> 00:55:36,037 (Blade cackling) 1089 00:55:36,137 --> 00:55:41,209 - Finally, a labrys is mine, all mine. (cackling) 1090 00:55:43,244 --> 00:55:45,780 I can't believe you fell for it, you basic little bitch. 1091 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,716 - Wait, I thought you wanted to help me. 1092 00:55:48,783 --> 00:55:50,084 - Nah. 1093 00:55:50,952 --> 00:55:52,385 I can't believe you didn't see that. 1094 00:55:55,623 --> 00:55:56,724 - But I need it. 1095 00:55:56,791 --> 00:56:01,095 - Not when you're dead. (laughs) 1096 00:56:01,162 --> 00:56:04,165 Time to christen this beautiful blade. 1097 00:56:05,333 --> 00:56:08,269 (Saira grunts) 1098 00:56:08,336 --> 00:56:11,072 (intense music) 1099 00:56:12,707 --> 00:56:15,543 (Blade cackling) 1100 00:56:15,877 --> 00:56:19,180 (Willow yells) 1101 00:56:20,413 --> 00:56:22,717 - Whoopsies, finally found you. 1102 00:56:22,783 --> 00:56:25,953 Sorry I took so long, it took me ages to find the pineapple. 1103 00:56:26,053 --> 00:56:27,722 What's it for? 1104 00:56:27,822 --> 00:56:29,056 - What? 1105 00:56:30,124 --> 00:56:32,093 - Oh, hey, you found the labrys thing. 1106 00:56:32,159 --> 00:56:34,829 (Willow grunts) 1107 00:56:34,929 --> 00:56:37,430 (Blade yells) 1108 00:56:37,497 --> 00:56:39,432 - Okay, so Blade is not cool. 1109 00:56:39,499 --> 00:56:41,335 - Yeah, she's trying to steal my labrys. 1110 00:56:41,434 --> 00:56:42,336 - Oh, hell no. 1111 00:56:48,676 --> 00:56:52,280 - What are you gonna do, fight me with a pineapple? (laughs) 1112 00:56:52,380 --> 00:56:53,948 - Oh, it all makes sense now. 1113 00:56:54,048 --> 00:56:56,717 (Saira laughs) 1114 00:56:59,820 --> 00:57:00,922 (Blade grunts) 1115 00:57:00,988 --> 00:57:01,822 - [Blade] Ow, what the fuck? 1116 00:57:02,790 --> 00:57:04,592 (Willow laughs) 1117 00:57:04,659 --> 00:57:07,628 - Willow! 1118 00:57:07,728 --> 00:57:09,964 (Blade grunting) 1119 00:57:10,031 --> 00:57:12,199 (Saira grunts) 1120 00:57:12,300 --> 00:57:15,036 (Saira grunts) 1121 00:57:16,469 --> 00:57:19,407 - Ha, have you ever used an axe before? 1122 00:57:19,507 --> 00:57:21,208 (metal clinking) 1123 00:57:21,309 --> 00:57:22,977 (Saira yells) 1124 00:57:23,044 --> 00:57:24,879 Ha, even with that beautiful weapon, 1125 00:57:24,946 --> 00:57:28,516 you can't defend yourself against a pineapple. 1126 00:57:28,582 --> 00:57:30,718 You're a joke. 1127 00:57:30,785 --> 00:57:33,688 (Saira panting) 1128 00:57:33,754 --> 00:57:35,488 No, what are you doing to it? 1129 00:57:35,589 --> 00:57:37,058 - No. 1130 00:57:37,124 --> 00:57:40,127 - Fuck, you bitch. (crying) 1131 00:57:42,296 --> 00:57:44,966 (Saira yells) 1132 00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:49,203 Yeah, that's how you use it. (coughs) 1133 00:57:49,303 --> 00:57:53,507 - Now who's a joke, you bitch? (crying) 1134 00:58:02,249 --> 00:58:04,452 (ship beeps) 1135 00:58:04,552 --> 00:58:05,453 - Hey. 1136 00:58:07,288 --> 00:58:08,488 Welcome back. 1137 00:58:08,589 --> 00:58:10,591 - Is she okay, is she awake? 1138 00:58:10,658 --> 00:58:13,627 - Yes, she's okay, you can stop freaking out now. 1139 00:58:13,728 --> 00:58:16,998 - I wasn't freaking out, you were, I don't care. 1140 00:58:17,932 --> 00:58:19,300 - I beamed us back here 1141 00:58:19,367 --> 00:58:21,335 after you decapitated that Blade lady. 1142 00:58:21,435 --> 00:58:25,139 You are such a badass. (purrs) 1143 00:58:25,206 --> 00:58:26,841 - Wait, where's my- - Hey, hey, hey. 1144 00:58:26,907 --> 00:58:29,643 Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay. 1145 00:58:29,710 --> 00:58:30,644 It's here. 1146 00:58:32,513 --> 00:58:33,447 - What? 1147 00:58:33,547 --> 00:58:34,849 No, where's my labrys? 1148 00:58:34,915 --> 00:58:37,351 - Oh, that, yeah, that's here too. 1149 00:58:39,553 --> 00:58:42,723 (Saira pants) 1150 00:58:42,790 --> 00:58:45,493 - I really was pretty badass back there. 1151 00:58:45,593 --> 00:58:48,295 - Yeah, I have a huge crush on you. 1152 00:58:49,430 --> 00:58:51,866 Wait, did I say that out loud? 1153 00:58:51,966 --> 00:58:52,933 - [Ship and Saira] Yes. 1154 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,502 - It's just... 1155 00:58:54,602 --> 00:58:56,370 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that got you. 1156 00:58:56,470 --> 00:59:00,141 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush on you ♪ 1157 00:59:00,207 --> 00:59:05,246 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush, it's true ♪ 1158 00:59:06,347 --> 00:59:09,583 ♪ And it's on you ♪ 1159 00:59:09,683 --> 00:59:13,054 ♪ My crush is on you ♪ 1160 00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:17,058 ♪ Specifically, you, Saira ♪ 1161 00:59:17,124 --> 00:59:19,493 That song was about you. 1162 00:59:19,593 --> 00:59:20,561 - I got that. 1163 00:59:24,632 --> 00:59:26,033 - [Ship] Ooh, yeah. 1164 00:59:26,133 --> 00:59:27,034 Called it. 1165 00:59:28,469 --> 00:59:31,038 - That's been there this whole time? 1166 00:59:31,138 --> 00:59:35,409 - Yep, it's been in front of you all along. 1167 00:59:35,510 --> 00:59:38,079 - We're not talking about the button, are we? 1168 00:59:38,179 --> 00:59:40,748 - No, I'm talking about the button, I saw it ages ago. 1169 00:59:40,848 --> 00:59:41,749 - Oh. 1170 00:59:45,352 --> 00:59:47,188 - [Ship] How can you even have sex? 1171 00:59:48,089 --> 00:59:50,658 - Now that he's gone. 1172 00:59:52,093 --> 00:59:55,596 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush on you ♪ 1173 00:59:55,663 --> 01:00:00,701 ♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush, it's true ♪ 1174 01:00:01,602 --> 01:00:03,137 ♪ And it's on you ♪ 1175 01:00:03,204 --> 01:00:04,738 Woof woof. 1176 01:00:04,839 --> 01:00:08,476 ♪ My crush is on you ♪ 1177 01:00:08,543 --> 01:00:11,245 ♪ Specifically, you, Saira ♪ 1178 01:00:11,345 --> 01:00:14,181 Are yours hands magic? 1179 01:00:14,248 --> 01:00:19,353 ♪ Approximately five hours before ♪ 1180 01:00:20,988 --> 01:00:26,093 ♪ Kiki dies in a vat of toxic home brew ♪ 1181 01:00:26,561 --> 01:00:28,662 - Hello there, lady at bar. 1182 01:00:28,762 --> 01:00:31,365 - Hello. - Hi. 1183 01:00:31,465 --> 01:00:35,537 Well, what, do, I like your dress. 1184 01:00:35,636 --> 01:00:36,538 - Thank you. 1185 01:00:37,738 --> 01:00:40,341 - I wore a nice shirt to this bar. 1186 01:00:40,407 --> 01:00:41,876 - It's making me horny. 1187 01:00:41,976 --> 01:00:44,579 (Larry laughs) 1188 01:00:44,678 --> 01:00:46,447 - Perch hands. 1189 01:00:46,548 --> 01:00:48,249 - Drink, drink, ask about a drink, ask about a drink. 1190 01:00:48,349 --> 01:00:49,717 - I'm thirsty. 1191 01:00:49,783 --> 01:00:53,187 - Oh, are you thirsty? - Yeah. 1192 01:00:53,254 --> 01:00:54,822 - She gave you the leading, just go for it, man. 1193 01:00:54,922 --> 01:00:56,991 Just go for it, just be yourself, bro. 1194 01:00:57,091 --> 01:01:02,163 - Can I get you with my money, a drink for you? 1195 01:01:02,963 --> 01:01:04,265 - Oh yes, please. 1196 01:01:04,331 --> 01:01:06,167 - Close the deal, close the deal. 1197 01:01:06,267 --> 01:01:09,470 - Now that I have purchased you a drink, you owe me sex? 1198 01:01:09,538 --> 01:01:11,138 - Yes. - Yes, correct. 1199 01:01:11,205 --> 01:01:14,509 (Kiki cackling) 1200 01:01:14,576 --> 01:01:17,579 - Hey, don't be so mean, this is a safe space. 1201 01:01:17,678 --> 01:01:18,547 - What's so funny? 1202 01:01:18,647 --> 01:01:20,114 - It's just like, 1203 01:01:20,214 --> 01:01:23,284 I don't get why this is so hard for you. 1204 01:01:23,384 --> 01:01:25,452 - Oh, wow, so predictable, 1205 01:01:25,554 --> 01:01:28,756 from the lady of colour who's a lesbian. 1206 01:01:28,822 --> 01:01:31,560 I'm really shocked, lesbian of colour. 1207 01:01:31,626 --> 01:01:34,295 The whole universe is built around you, lesbian of colour. 1208 01:01:34,395 --> 01:01:38,199 - Here's something that I guarantee you did not know. 1209 01:01:38,299 --> 01:01:41,702 Did you know that crash test dummies are built 1210 01:01:41,802 --> 01:01:45,739 around the average size and proportions of a woman? 1211 01:01:45,839 --> 01:01:47,241 What if we get into a crash? 1212 01:01:47,341 --> 01:01:49,410 - And look at this phone. 1213 01:01:49,511 --> 01:01:51,412 They make these for chicks. 1214 01:01:51,513 --> 01:01:54,748 How am I supposed to use this tiny phone with my huge hands? 1215 01:01:54,848 --> 01:01:59,887 It's a tiny fucking lesbian phone, fuck you lesbian phone! 1216 01:02:00,721 --> 01:02:02,122 - We gotta be confident. 1217 01:02:02,223 --> 01:02:03,824 We gotta be too- - But not too- 1218 01:02:03,924 --> 01:02:04,858 - But not too confident. - Don't be too confident. 1219 01:02:04,959 --> 01:02:05,826 Don't be too confident. 1220 01:02:05,926 --> 01:02:07,428 - We gotta be beautiful. 1221 01:02:07,494 --> 01:02:08,697 - But not too beautiful. - But not too beautiful. 1222 01:02:08,796 --> 01:02:09,698 - Can't be too beautiful. 1223 01:02:09,797 --> 01:02:11,666 Can't look too good. 1224 01:02:11,765 --> 01:02:14,636 - You gotta have nice shoe, you gotta, everything you do, 1225 01:02:14,703 --> 01:02:18,205 everything you do, I gotta do backwards in flat shoes. 1226 01:02:18,305 --> 01:02:19,406 Do you understand? 1227 01:02:19,507 --> 01:02:22,243 You've got the support of heels. 1228 01:02:22,343 --> 01:02:25,779 I just, it is hard for us, too, and I just think sometimes. 1229 01:02:25,879 --> 01:02:26,947 - Oh, no. - Oh. 1230 01:02:27,047 --> 01:02:28,916 - So, no, I'm sorry, I'm just... 1231 01:02:29,016 --> 01:02:29,883 - Oh. - I know. 1232 01:02:29,950 --> 01:02:31,252 No, he does this. 1233 01:02:31,352 --> 01:02:33,622 - We can't win. - He's just upset. 1234 01:02:33,722 --> 01:02:37,324 - I'm not, I'm not upset, I, these are angry tears. 1235 01:02:37,424 --> 01:02:38,926 I'm so angry I'm crying. 1236 01:02:38,993 --> 01:02:41,895 - Ugh, you should just stop complaining. 1237 01:02:41,962 --> 01:02:45,667 Screw this, my life is hard too, that's it. 1238 01:02:45,766 --> 01:02:49,003 I'm really doing it this time, I'm getting myself loose. 1239 01:02:49,103 --> 01:02:50,471 (Kiki yells) 1240 01:02:50,538 --> 01:02:53,407 (playful music) 1241 01:02:53,508 --> 01:02:54,375 (Maliens gasp) 1242 01:02:54,475 --> 01:02:55,677 (Kiki grunting) 1243 01:02:55,744 --> 01:02:56,810 (Maliens gasp) 1244 01:02:56,877 --> 01:02:58,245 Yeah! 1245 01:02:58,345 --> 01:02:59,614 - No, no, no, no. 1246 01:02:59,714 --> 01:03:01,348 (Kiki laughs) 1247 01:03:01,415 --> 01:03:04,084 (Maliens gasp) 1248 01:03:05,286 --> 01:03:06,721 - Oh. 1249 01:03:06,787 --> 01:03:08,956 (Kiki groans) 1250 01:03:09,056 --> 01:03:13,127 I think it's time you realise who has the power here. 1251 01:03:14,495 --> 01:03:17,197 Kill the lesbian! 1252 01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:21,502 - To be or not to be. 1253 01:03:21,603 --> 01:03:23,304 That is the question. 1254 01:03:24,673 --> 01:03:26,574 Oh, God, oh, this is the most painful 1255 01:03:26,675 --> 01:03:29,810 and horrible death anyone could ever experience! 1256 01:03:29,877 --> 01:03:34,948 Oh God, why me, why, why? (gurgling) 1257 01:03:36,551 --> 01:03:38,252 - Bro, I said kill the lesbian, not the thespian. 1258 01:03:38,352 --> 01:03:39,521 What the heck, bro. 1259 01:03:41,155 --> 01:03:42,289 - You can hear they sound- - [Malien] Yes. 1260 01:03:42,389 --> 01:03:43,290 - The same. 1261 01:03:43,390 --> 01:03:44,925 - [Malien] I understand. 1262 01:03:44,992 --> 01:03:46,427 - I mean, I know this isn't my argument, 1263 01:03:46,493 --> 01:03:48,062 but I'm pretty sure you said thespian. 1264 01:03:48,128 --> 01:03:49,463 - I don't think I did. 1265 01:03:49,531 --> 01:03:50,998 When I say kill the lesbian, 1266 01:03:51,098 --> 01:03:53,535 I'm talking about, quite specifically, her. 1267 01:03:53,635 --> 01:03:56,203 And you know that, you do this, you team up and- 1268 01:03:56,303 --> 01:03:58,372 - You said thespian. - [Malien] You pick on me. 1269 01:03:58,472 --> 01:04:00,908 Fucking, I swear to God I didn't, and if I did, I apologise. 1270 01:04:01,008 --> 01:04:02,343 - Now, who's the lesbian, hey? 1271 01:04:02,409 --> 01:04:03,812 - What, no. 1272 01:04:03,877 --> 01:04:04,978 - [Larry] That doesn't make sense. 1273 01:04:05,045 --> 01:04:06,914 - No, no, no, no, no, do, what? 1274 01:04:07,014 --> 01:04:08,048 Do you know what a lesbian, do you know what a lesbian is? 1275 01:04:08,115 --> 01:04:09,249 - Yes. - [Malien] What. 1276 01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:11,352 - They're, they get on stage. 1277 01:04:11,418 --> 01:04:13,253 - [Malien] That's a thespian. 1278 01:04:13,354 --> 01:04:16,624 - And, and, and date someone of the same sex. 1279 01:04:16,725 --> 01:04:18,192 - [Larry and Malien] That's a lesbian thespian. 1280 01:04:18,292 --> 01:04:19,561 - It's a lesbian. 1281 01:04:19,627 --> 01:04:21,295 - No, no, it's a lesbian thespian. 1282 01:04:21,395 --> 01:04:23,497 - Just kill the lesbian, just kill the lesbian. 1283 01:04:23,598 --> 01:04:26,601 - Every lesbian in "The L Word" was also a thespian. 1284 01:04:26,668 --> 01:04:28,670 - Yes, that's fair, you cannot argue with that. 1285 01:04:28,770 --> 01:04:30,371 - No, and I never would, either way, 1286 01:04:30,471 --> 01:04:32,473 we're getting off topic. - [Larry] Mm. 1287 01:04:32,540 --> 01:04:35,643 - And I would like to kill the lesbian, we gotta- 1288 01:04:35,710 --> 01:04:37,645 - We already killed her. 1289 01:04:37,712 --> 01:04:40,548 - No, we killed the thespian, you killed the thespian, the- 1290 01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:42,049 - Yes, and that's what you wanted. 1291 01:04:42,116 --> 01:04:44,051 - I thought you said thespian. - No. 1292 01:04:44,118 --> 01:04:48,288 No, shut up, stop talking now. 1293 01:04:49,490 --> 01:04:51,860 All right, now. 1294 01:04:52,660 --> 01:04:54,461 Kill the lesbian. 1295 01:04:56,296 --> 01:04:57,799 (Kiki groans) 1296 01:04:57,866 --> 01:05:01,201 - Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry, you're right. 1297 01:05:01,301 --> 01:05:05,239 Women like me suck, we take up too much space. 1298 01:05:05,339 --> 01:05:08,075 - Ah, no, no, no, no, no, too late. 1299 01:05:08,175 --> 01:05:10,978 I am sick of you always patronising us. 1300 01:05:11,044 --> 01:05:14,682 - But you need me, mm-hmm. 1301 01:05:14,749 --> 01:05:18,051 Saira's not gonna give you the labrys for nothing. 1302 01:05:19,621 --> 01:05:22,089 Do you really want to invite a lesbian with one 1303 01:05:22,156 --> 01:05:26,059 of the most powerful weapons in the universe to your cave, 1304 01:05:26,126 --> 01:05:29,930 and then tell them you've just killed the person they love? 1305 01:05:29,997 --> 01:05:31,666 (Maliens gulp) 1306 01:05:31,766 --> 01:05:33,835 - Well, if she loves you so much, 1307 01:05:33,934 --> 01:05:36,003 what is taking her so long? 1308 01:05:36,103 --> 01:05:37,505 - Just let me talk to her. 1309 01:05:38,540 --> 01:05:41,074 I promise I can get her here. 1310 01:05:42,710 --> 01:05:45,680 - Fine, but you better hope she's close by. 1311 01:05:45,747 --> 01:05:47,347 I am done waiting. 1312 01:05:48,850 --> 01:05:49,851 Button! 1313 01:05:49,918 --> 01:05:53,120 (timer buzzes) 1314 01:05:55,055 --> 01:05:57,559 (phone ringing) 1315 01:05:57,625 --> 01:06:00,260 New time limit, princess, one hour. 1316 01:06:00,327 --> 01:06:01,830 - What? 1317 01:06:01,930 --> 01:06:03,531 - You can thank big mouth over here for that 1318 01:06:03,631 --> 01:06:05,966 and all the mean things she's been saying. 1319 01:06:06,033 --> 01:06:07,201 About me and my friends. 1320 01:06:07,301 --> 01:06:10,304 - Saira, wait, where are you? 1321 01:06:10,370 --> 01:06:14,809 Is that sex hair, who the fuck is that? 1322 01:06:14,876 --> 01:06:16,977 - Hey, I'm Willow, Saira's new partner. 1323 01:06:17,044 --> 01:06:18,947 - What, no, they're no one. 1324 01:06:19,046 --> 01:06:20,414 - [Willow] Oh. 1325 01:06:20,515 --> 01:06:21,916 - Wait, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. 1326 01:06:22,015 --> 01:06:23,350 - [Kiki] Are you serious? 1327 01:06:23,417 --> 01:06:25,787 - I mean, I'm sorry, they're no one. 1328 01:06:25,887 --> 01:06:27,321 - [Willow] Oh. 1329 01:06:27,421 --> 01:06:30,592 - I mean, I don't know, I'm confused. 1330 01:06:31,626 --> 01:06:32,560 I'm just, 1331 01:06:34,261 --> 01:06:35,763 sorry. 1332 01:06:35,830 --> 01:06:37,832 - No, Saira, I'm sorry. 1333 01:06:39,601 --> 01:06:44,539 I can see now, I screwed things up, I never appreciated you. 1334 01:06:45,540 --> 01:06:47,876 But Saira, you are the only one 1335 01:06:49,409 --> 01:06:53,548 who can bring your royal labrys and save me. 1336 01:06:55,349 --> 01:06:59,787 Now, but now I've lost you, and now I'm going die. (cries) 1337 01:07:07,261 --> 01:07:08,897 - No. 1338 01:07:08,963 --> 01:07:12,432 - That's not true, I'll come, of course I'll come. 1339 01:07:12,499 --> 01:07:14,636 - You have one hour. 1340 01:07:14,702 --> 01:07:16,136 - Kiki! 1341 01:07:16,203 --> 01:07:17,739 (Kiki screams) 1342 01:07:17,839 --> 01:07:20,675 (Saira panting) 1343 01:07:23,343 --> 01:07:24,712 - Willow, I'm sorry. 1344 01:07:26,113 --> 01:07:29,182 - It's okay, if Kiki means this much to you, 1345 01:07:30,250 --> 01:07:31,786 we can open this relationship up. 1346 01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:35,957 - No, Willow, I think maybe 1347 01:07:36,056 --> 01:07:38,091 you and I should just be friends. 1348 01:07:40,728 --> 01:07:42,830 - You're friend zoning me? 1349 01:07:45,432 --> 01:07:50,270 I hid the body for you, not the head, though. 1350 01:07:50,337 --> 01:07:52,006 I figured they'll never figure out 1351 01:07:52,072 --> 01:07:54,008 who it belongs to without the body. 1352 01:07:55,009 --> 01:07:59,313 You know, I don't even like murder. 1353 01:07:59,379 --> 01:08:01,248 I just wanted you to like me. 1354 01:08:01,348 --> 01:08:04,284 - I do really like you. 1355 01:08:04,384 --> 01:08:08,088 I think you're the first proper friend I've ever had. 1356 01:08:08,155 --> 01:08:10,592 I got a bit caught up in that. 1357 01:08:11,458 --> 01:08:13,061 Now I've messed it up. 1358 01:08:14,461 --> 01:08:18,165 - I just need some time. 1359 01:08:18,265 --> 01:08:22,369 And I'm taking this, you owe me that at least. 1360 01:08:22,469 --> 01:08:23,605 - It's yours. 1361 01:08:23,671 --> 01:08:24,973 - Don't let them see you cry. 1362 01:08:26,641 --> 01:08:29,744 I definitely have some inspiration for my album now. 1363 01:08:29,844 --> 01:08:31,846 - I'm sorry. 1364 01:08:32,714 --> 01:08:36,784 I really hope we can be friends. 1365 01:08:39,053 --> 01:08:40,722 - Fuck you, Saira. 1366 01:08:40,788 --> 01:08:43,457 (sombre music) 1367 01:08:46,894 --> 01:08:49,530 (Saira crying) 1368 01:08:52,265 --> 01:08:56,269 ♪ I met her on a moon ♪ 1369 01:08:56,671 --> 01:09:01,075 ♪ She was still amid some gloom ♪ 1370 01:09:01,174 --> 01:09:05,747 ♪ So she took me on a wild ride ♪ 1371 01:09:05,847 --> 01:09:10,685 ♪ Did some fucked up shit, but we fell to life ♪ 1372 01:09:10,752 --> 01:09:15,155 ♪ Oh, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1373 01:09:15,255 --> 01:09:20,327 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1374 01:09:21,428 --> 01:09:24,532 ♪ Oh, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1375 01:09:24,632 --> 01:09:28,301 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1376 01:09:28,368 --> 01:09:32,840 ♪ She's travelling the gay-laxy ♪ 1377 01:09:32,907 --> 01:09:37,512 ♪ I kind of wish it was for me ♪ 1378 01:09:37,578 --> 01:09:42,684 ♪ But something's just aren't meant to be ♪ 1379 01:09:43,551 --> 01:09:45,218 - Finally, how was it? 1380 01:09:45,285 --> 01:09:46,621 Wait, where's the other one? 1381 01:09:46,721 --> 01:09:47,789 What happened? 1382 01:09:47,889 --> 01:09:50,424 Did she, they dump you, too? 1383 01:09:51,458 --> 01:09:53,895 - I kind of dumped them. 1384 01:09:53,961 --> 01:09:55,630 - Why would you do that? 1385 01:09:55,697 --> 01:09:57,632 They seem to genuinely like your boring personality 1386 01:09:57,699 --> 01:09:58,933 and magic tricks. 1387 01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:02,436 - Because I've gotta save Kiki. 1388 01:10:02,502 --> 01:10:04,539 - [Ship] Oh man, you still wanna do that? 1389 01:10:04,639 --> 01:10:06,674 - I, I can't just abandon her. 1390 01:10:06,741 --> 01:10:09,077 Listen, I know you didn't wanna come this far, 1391 01:10:09,177 --> 01:10:10,878 but she needs me. 1392 01:10:10,978 --> 01:10:12,446 Is it okay if I drive us to the worst, 1393 01:10:12,547 --> 01:10:14,549 most dangerous place in the universe? 1394 01:10:19,087 --> 01:10:20,922 (Ship cries) 1395 01:10:20,988 --> 01:10:25,626 - No pilots ever asked me if I'm okay with something before. 1396 01:10:27,061 --> 01:10:31,264 Honestly, they were a bit mean. (crying) 1397 01:10:33,266 --> 01:10:37,337 - Well, what do you say, wanna stick with me? 1398 01:10:37,538 --> 01:10:41,209 - I mean, we've come this far. (crying) 1399 01:10:46,413 --> 01:10:49,917 Sorry, you really hit a nerve. 1400 01:10:50,118 --> 01:10:52,520 Yeah, whatever, let's go. 1401 01:10:52,587 --> 01:10:54,789 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 1402 01:10:54,889 --> 01:10:57,158 ♪ Saira, there she goes ♪ 1403 01:10:57,257 --> 01:10:59,694 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1404 01:10:59,794 --> 01:11:03,030 ♪ Whoa, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1405 01:11:03,131 --> 01:11:06,500 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1406 01:11:06,601 --> 01:11:09,937 ♪ Yeah, I wrote my song down ♪ 1407 01:11:10,004 --> 01:11:11,338 ♪ Woo ♪ 1408 01:11:11,404 --> 01:11:13,141 - [Ship] Hold on. 1409 01:11:13,207 --> 01:11:17,344 That's the worst, most dangerous place in the universe? 1410 01:11:20,447 --> 01:11:21,749 - Yeah, apparently this is it. 1411 01:11:21,849 --> 01:11:23,618 - [Ship] Do you know what this is? 1412 01:11:23,718 --> 01:11:25,452 It's like one, one of those world's best cup of coffee 1413 01:11:25,553 --> 01:11:27,221 bullshit slogan things. 1414 01:11:27,287 --> 01:11:30,124 It's like, "Oh yes, that shitty little cafe 1415 01:11:30,224 --> 01:11:33,460 has the world's best cup of coffee." 1416 01:11:33,561 --> 01:11:34,327 - Ship. 1417 01:11:34,427 --> 01:11:35,663 - [Ship] What? 1418 01:11:37,198 --> 01:11:39,967 (intense music) 1419 01:11:46,207 --> 01:11:48,075 - [Ship] Oh, God. 1420 01:11:48,176 --> 01:11:49,076 - Hey. 1421 01:11:53,413 --> 01:11:55,016 I'm so happy. 1422 01:11:55,082 --> 01:11:57,852 (meteor blasts) 1423 01:11:59,086 --> 01:12:01,923 (intense music) 1424 01:12:03,490 --> 01:12:06,326 - It shot us! - Right in the face. 1425 01:12:07,895 --> 01:12:08,963 I'm sorry I took you here, you should take us back. 1426 01:12:09,063 --> 01:12:10,531 - Don't you dare. 1427 01:12:10,631 --> 01:12:13,868 You are not the same shy, sad, pathetic, 1428 01:12:13,968 --> 01:12:16,971 boring, miserable princess you were when you hopped aboard. 1429 01:12:17,038 --> 01:12:20,308 My generous wisdom and guidance has helped shape you 1430 01:12:20,373 --> 01:12:25,079 into the strong lady warrior sitting here right now. 1431 01:12:25,713 --> 01:12:30,785 So what are you gonna do, Sangria? 1432 01:12:31,619 --> 01:12:33,020 - I know what to do. 1433 01:12:33,087 --> 01:12:35,923 (intense music) 1434 01:12:37,158 --> 01:12:41,428 Okay, mama's driving now. (grunting) 1435 01:12:41,494 --> 01:12:42,697 (intense music continues) 1436 01:12:42,797 --> 01:12:44,497 (Saira yells) 1437 01:12:44,599 --> 01:12:45,766 - Ow, fuck. 1438 01:12:45,833 --> 01:12:47,034 (robot growls) 1439 01:12:47,134 --> 01:12:49,770 (beam blasts) 1440 01:12:49,837 --> 01:12:51,672 It's really on me. 1441 01:12:51,739 --> 01:12:54,407 - Shit, this isn't working. (gasps) 1442 01:12:54,508 --> 01:12:57,345 I think I've got an idea. 1443 01:12:57,410 --> 01:12:58,679 - I trust you. 1444 01:13:02,550 --> 01:13:05,286 (Saira yelling) 1445 01:13:05,385 --> 01:13:10,324 - [Ship] Take it back, I take it back, I don't trust you! 1446 01:13:10,992 --> 01:13:13,060 (lasers zapping) 1447 01:13:13,127 --> 01:13:14,829 (intense music) 1448 01:13:14,929 --> 01:13:18,099 (singers vocalising) 1449 01:13:27,407 --> 01:13:29,877 (ship blasts) 1450 01:13:29,977 --> 01:13:32,713 (penis gasps) 1451 01:13:32,813 --> 01:13:34,282 (ship beeping) 1452 01:13:34,382 --> 01:13:37,551 (singers vocalising) 1453 01:13:41,956 --> 01:13:44,892 (explosion booms) 1454 01:13:45,726 --> 01:13:49,196 (Ship and Saira yelling) 1455 01:13:50,497 --> 01:13:52,934 (bird squawking) 1456 01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:56,871 (Ship coughing) 1457 01:13:58,072 --> 01:14:00,241 - Oh, that does not sound good. 1458 01:14:00,341 --> 01:14:01,842 - What, me? 1459 01:14:01,909 --> 01:14:03,010 I feel great. 1460 01:14:03,077 --> 01:14:04,712 (wheel clanks) 1461 01:14:04,812 --> 01:14:07,748 Get outta here, go save your stupid ex-girlfriend. 1462 01:14:07,848 --> 01:14:09,750 (intense music) 1463 01:14:09,850 --> 01:14:13,387 Oh, and I guess, be careful, okay? 1464 01:14:13,453 --> 01:14:14,789 - Hey. 1465 01:14:14,889 --> 01:14:16,223 Thanks for being an ally back there. 1466 01:14:16,290 --> 01:14:17,625 - [Ship] Ew, what? 1467 01:14:17,725 --> 01:14:18,626 I'm not gay. 1468 01:14:19,994 --> 01:14:22,596 (timer beeps) 1469 01:14:23,431 --> 01:14:25,166 (Kiki gulps) 1470 01:14:25,266 --> 01:14:28,169 (dramatic music) 1471 01:14:36,143 --> 01:14:37,645 - [Malien] Boys, I miss the thespian. 1472 01:14:37,712 --> 01:14:39,013 - Hey. - [Malien] What? 1473 01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:40,047 - [Malien] Oh, you shouldn't have- 1474 01:14:40,114 --> 01:14:41,449 - I've got the labrys. 1475 01:14:41,549 --> 01:14:42,450 - Shouldn't have killed the thespian. 1476 01:14:42,550 --> 01:14:44,051 - I miss that thespian. 1477 01:14:44,118 --> 01:14:45,252 - [Larry] Shouldn't have killed the thespian. 1478 01:14:45,353 --> 01:14:46,954 - Putting on plays and stuff. 1479 01:14:47,054 --> 01:14:48,389 - [Larry] Why'd you tell him to kill the thespian? 1480 01:14:48,456 --> 01:14:50,091 - I said, hey, I've got the labrys. 1481 01:14:50,157 --> 01:14:51,993 - I remember specifically. - I fucking didn't. 1482 01:14:52,093 --> 01:14:54,228 They did my favourite one man show of "Book of Mormon." 1483 01:14:54,295 --> 01:14:55,229 - [Malien] Yeah. 1484 01:14:55,296 --> 01:14:56,263 (Malien gasps) 1485 01:14:56,330 --> 01:14:57,465 - Our labrys is here! 1486 01:14:58,766 --> 01:15:01,369 - [Maliens] Oh. - Our labrys is here! 1487 01:15:01,469 --> 01:15:02,803 Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, 1488 01:15:02,870 --> 01:15:05,206 gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. (grunts) 1489 01:15:05,306 --> 01:15:06,540 - Oh. 1490 01:15:06,640 --> 01:15:09,543 (Maliens cheering) 1491 01:15:09,643 --> 01:15:11,479 Now, let Kiki go. 1492 01:15:11,545 --> 01:15:14,782 - Oh, gladly, terrible deal for you if you ask me, take her. 1493 01:15:14,882 --> 01:15:17,251 Get her outta here, look at the labrys. 1494 01:15:18,419 --> 01:15:21,255 (magical music) 1495 01:15:26,961 --> 01:15:27,895 - Hey. 1496 01:15:28,729 --> 01:15:31,298 - You saved me. 1497 01:15:34,201 --> 01:15:35,770 I'm free! (laughing) 1498 01:15:35,836 --> 01:15:37,104 I'm finally free. 1499 01:15:38,806 --> 01:15:41,342 Oh God, I thought I was gonna die, whew. 1500 01:15:42,176 --> 01:15:44,211 - You know, if we hurry, we could still go 1501 01:15:44,311 --> 01:15:46,347 to the Lesbian Ball together. 1502 01:15:48,849 --> 01:15:53,387 - Yeah, I don't think so. 1503 01:15:53,454 --> 01:15:54,755 - [Malien] Ooh, rough. 1504 01:15:54,822 --> 01:15:57,425 - But I came all this way for you. 1505 01:15:57,491 --> 01:16:00,828 - Yeah, well, you kind of got me into this mess. 1506 01:16:00,928 --> 01:16:04,131 - But you said that maybe if I was different. 1507 01:16:05,699 --> 01:16:09,804 - Listen, I'm so grateful you saved me. 1508 01:16:09,870 --> 01:16:12,039 I'm genuinely impressed you made it here. 1509 01:16:12,139 --> 01:16:13,040 - Mm-hmm. 1510 01:16:14,675 --> 01:16:18,913 - But I don't owe you anything, nothing's changed. 1511 01:16:19,914 --> 01:16:24,418 - But I have. 1512 01:16:25,219 --> 01:16:27,922 - Ugh, again, with the crying. 1513 01:16:29,990 --> 01:16:32,426 Look, I really don't want to be mean, 1514 01:16:32,493 --> 01:16:33,994 but it never really made sense 1515 01:16:34,095 --> 01:16:36,163 that I was with you in the first place. 1516 01:16:36,263 --> 01:16:37,331 You know what I mean? 1517 01:16:37,431 --> 01:16:38,499 - What's happening to it? 1518 01:16:38,599 --> 01:16:39,934 - [Maliens] Fuck! 1519 01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:42,803 - What the hell, princess, we had a deal! 1520 01:16:42,870 --> 01:16:44,705 (Saira yelps) 1521 01:16:44,805 --> 01:16:46,207 I'm upset, fuck! 1522 01:16:47,308 --> 01:16:49,710 - [Malien] Fuck! - [Malien] Fuck! 1523 01:16:50,744 --> 01:16:53,414 (sombre music) 1524 01:16:54,615 --> 01:16:57,118 (Kiki sighs) 1525 01:16:59,086 --> 01:17:01,922 (Saira whimpers) 1526 01:17:08,662 --> 01:17:09,598 - Huh? 1527 01:17:12,933 --> 01:17:13,834 Huh. 1528 01:17:22,076 --> 01:17:25,012 (intense music) 1529 01:17:25,079 --> 01:17:28,349 - [Monster] I knew you couldn't ignore me for long. 1530 01:17:28,415 --> 01:17:30,585 You haven't changed at all. 1531 01:17:30,851 --> 01:17:33,020 Get it into your thick head. 1532 01:17:33,087 --> 01:17:35,923 You are not good enough for Kiki. 1533 01:17:35,990 --> 01:17:38,392 Without her, you're nothing. 1534 01:17:43,931 --> 01:17:45,199 - That's not true. 1535 01:17:45,299 --> 01:17:46,867 - [Monster] Yes, it is. 1536 01:17:46,967 --> 01:17:49,703 Even your own moms don't like you. 1537 01:17:49,803 --> 01:17:53,674 - Just stop it, stop criticising me. 1538 01:17:55,544 --> 01:17:56,677 - [Maliens] What the fuck? 1539 01:17:56,744 --> 01:17:58,479 - [Monster] You disappoint everyone. 1540 01:17:58,547 --> 01:18:00,247 I'm just telling you how it is. 1541 01:18:00,347 --> 01:18:01,749 - Are you? 1542 01:18:01,849 --> 01:18:05,520 Maybe my moms are just bad parents. 1543 01:18:05,786 --> 01:18:09,990 Maybe Kiki is actually a narcissistic asshole, 1544 01:18:10,090 --> 01:18:13,160 and I deserve better. 1545 01:18:15,162 --> 01:18:16,864 I'm not always the problem. 1546 01:18:16,964 --> 01:18:19,200 - [Monster] Yes you are. 1547 01:18:19,300 --> 01:18:21,168 - I don't think so. 1548 01:18:21,268 --> 01:18:22,604 - [Monster] You're a boring little wimp, and you know it. 1549 01:18:22,671 --> 01:18:25,507 - Ah, shut the fuck up. (screaming) 1550 01:18:29,476 --> 01:18:30,344 (explosion blasts) 1551 01:18:30,411 --> 01:18:33,080 (upbeat music) 1552 01:18:43,324 --> 01:18:46,827 (upbeat music continues) 1553 01:18:49,296 --> 01:18:53,033 ♪ Ooh ♪ 1554 01:18:53,133 --> 01:18:54,868 ♪ Lesbian ♪ 1555 01:18:54,969 --> 01:18:56,971 ♪ Ooh ♪ 1556 01:18:57,972 --> 01:19:01,909 - Oh, good and great, you got it back, now hand it over. 1557 01:19:03,310 --> 01:19:04,411 - No. 1558 01:19:04,512 --> 01:19:06,146 - What? - [Maliens] What? 1559 01:19:06,213 --> 01:19:07,281 - What? 1560 01:19:07,381 --> 01:19:08,516 - But you said we could have it 1561 01:19:08,583 --> 01:19:10,719 if we gave you the mean lady. 1562 01:19:10,784 --> 01:19:13,087 - You can't have a lesbian and a lesbian thing. 1563 01:19:13,187 --> 01:19:14,355 - That's too many- 1564 01:19:14,421 --> 01:19:15,456 - What? - Things, 1565 01:19:15,557 --> 01:19:16,658 'Cause we don't have any- 1566 01:19:16,757 --> 01:19:17,825 - [Maliens] What? - What? 1567 01:19:17,925 --> 01:19:19,927 (Malien screams) 1568 01:19:19,994 --> 01:19:23,264 - I'm crying. (screams) 1569 01:19:23,330 --> 01:19:24,498 - No, you're not. 1570 01:19:24,599 --> 01:19:26,100 - Aren't I? - No. 1571 01:19:29,803 --> 01:19:31,506 - [Malien] We had a deal! 1572 01:19:31,573 --> 01:19:32,540 - [Saira] Yeah, well, sometimes things don't work out 1573 01:19:32,641 --> 01:19:34,041 how you want them to. 1574 01:19:34,141 --> 01:19:37,978 - Oh, well we know that all too well. 1575 01:19:38,045 --> 01:19:40,447 (dramatic music) 1576 01:19:40,548 --> 01:19:43,384 - [Josh] Give it back, it's ours! 1577 01:19:45,386 --> 01:19:46,353 (Josh laughs) 1578 01:19:46,420 --> 01:19:48,389 - Actually, it's mine. 1579 01:19:48,455 --> 01:19:49,557 - Oh, oh. 1580 01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:54,495 (Josh screaming) 1581 01:19:56,096 --> 01:19:58,032 - Why do you even need it? 1582 01:19:58,799 --> 01:20:03,837 - Well, because if we don't have your labrys 1583 01:20:03,937 --> 01:20:08,142 to power our chick magnet, then we'll never get hot chicks. 1584 01:20:08,208 --> 01:20:10,044 - And we'll be losers forever. 1585 01:20:10,144 --> 01:20:13,147 - Wait, that's seriously why you want it? 1586 01:20:14,749 --> 01:20:17,184 - We don't exactly have chicks 1587 01:20:17,251 --> 01:20:19,119 knocking down our door. 1588 01:20:19,219 --> 01:20:22,056 - No. - I leave my door open, 1589 01:20:22,122 --> 01:20:24,058 and they still don't come through. 1590 01:20:25,760 --> 01:20:28,797 - Yeah, but all the chick magnets in the world 1591 01:20:28,896 --> 01:20:29,963 won't help you. 1592 01:20:31,098 --> 01:20:34,134 I went through all of this. 1593 01:20:34,201 --> 01:20:38,238 And why, 'cause I wanted Kiki to love me? 1594 01:20:39,873 --> 01:20:42,843 But now I see my biggest problem 1595 01:20:43,877 --> 01:20:46,347 was that I didn't even love myself. 1596 01:20:47,047 --> 01:20:50,552 We deserve to love ourselves without a chick magnet 1597 01:20:50,785 --> 01:20:53,187 or a hot as fuck girlfriend. 1598 01:20:54,188 --> 01:20:57,124 (angelic music) 1599 01:20:57,224 --> 01:21:01,095 - Wow, I mean, no, you're full of shit. 1600 01:21:01,328 --> 01:21:02,797 Get her, boys! 1601 01:21:02,896 --> 01:21:05,199 (dramatic music) 1602 01:21:05,299 --> 01:21:08,202 (Malien laughing) 1603 01:21:16,644 --> 01:21:20,280 - [Magnet] Incoming chicks, incoming chicks. 1604 01:21:20,381 --> 01:21:24,619 Incoming chicks, incoming chicks, incoming chicks. 1605 01:21:26,053 --> 01:21:28,922 (chick screaming) 1606 01:21:28,989 --> 01:21:30,991 (blood trickling) 1607 01:21:31,091 --> 01:21:33,994 (labrys clatters) 1608 01:21:35,229 --> 01:21:36,798 (Larry clears throat) 1609 01:21:36,865 --> 01:21:40,467 - Wait, guys, I, I just had a random thought. 1610 01:21:40,535 --> 01:21:44,171 All the chick magnets in the world won't help us. 1611 01:21:44,773 --> 01:21:48,008 We went through all of this, and why? 1612 01:21:48,242 --> 01:21:51,679 Because we wanted chicks to love us. 1613 01:21:52,881 --> 01:21:55,215 But now I see our biggest problem 1614 01:21:55,282 --> 01:21:58,853 is that we don't even love ourselves. 1615 01:21:58,919 --> 01:21:59,854 - [Maliens] Oh. 1616 01:22:00,555 --> 01:22:05,459 - We deserve to love ourselves without a chick magnet, 1617 01:22:05,560 --> 01:22:07,595 or a hot as fuck girlfriend. 1618 01:22:09,597 --> 01:22:13,535 - Wow, that was beautiful, bro. 1619 01:22:15,169 --> 01:22:16,470 - I'm proud of you, man. 1620 01:22:16,838 --> 01:22:19,239 - You are so smart. - [Larry] Thank you. 1621 01:22:19,339 --> 01:22:21,308 - God, you all deserve one another. 1622 01:22:21,375 --> 01:22:23,343 Shame you can't just date each other. 1623 01:22:29,349 --> 01:22:34,421 - I mean, we would have the best time, like all the time. 1624 01:22:35,389 --> 01:22:40,895 - Yeah, and well, I guess they do say 1625 01:22:40,961 --> 01:22:42,429 you should date your best friends. 1626 01:22:42,496 --> 01:22:44,164 - [Malien] Yeah. - Yeah, they do say that. 1627 01:22:44,264 --> 01:22:46,768 And I hear, I hear sexuality is a bit of a spectrum. 1628 01:22:46,835 --> 01:22:48,302 - [Malien] It is. - [Malien] Can be. 1629 01:22:48,368 --> 01:22:49,470 It is a spectrum. - You know what I mean? 1630 01:22:49,537 --> 01:22:50,170 - [Malien] It is, it's a whole- 1631 01:22:50,270 --> 01:22:51,506 - Yeah. 1632 01:22:51,573 --> 01:22:52,807 - [Malien] It's a whole spectrum. 1633 01:22:52,874 --> 01:22:54,241 - Yeah. - [Josh] So, you know. 1634 01:22:54,341 --> 01:22:55,409 - Yeah, yeah. - [Josh] Put it out. 1635 01:22:55,510 --> 01:22:56,511 We would have the best time. 1636 01:22:56,578 --> 01:22:57,879 - Oh. (stammers) 1637 01:22:57,978 --> 01:22:59,146 (kiss smacking) 1638 01:22:59,213 --> 01:23:00,949 (romantic music) 1639 01:23:01,048 --> 01:23:02,951 - Hmm, oh, yeah. 1640 01:23:03,050 --> 01:23:05,085 (kiss smacks) 1641 01:23:05,185 --> 01:23:07,555 (kisses smack) 1642 01:23:07,622 --> 01:23:08,957 (kisses smack) 1643 01:23:09,056 --> 01:23:11,124 - [Malien] Just, Larry. - [Larry] Yeah. 1644 01:23:11,225 --> 01:23:13,093 - [Malien] Just come over here for a second, yeah. 1645 01:23:13,160 --> 01:23:14,629 (kisses smack) 1646 01:23:14,729 --> 01:23:16,497 - [Larry] Okay, just a little. 1647 01:23:16,598 --> 01:23:17,966 - [Josh] Oh, yeah. 1648 01:23:18,031 --> 01:23:18,800 - [Malien] Can I just have a soft one? 1649 01:23:18,867 --> 01:23:19,667 - [Josh] Oh. 1650 01:23:19,767 --> 01:23:21,301 (kisses smack) 1651 01:23:21,368 --> 01:23:22,369 - [Malien] Can you do the rough stuff with me? 1652 01:23:22,469 --> 01:23:24,506 - [Josh] Come here, you. 1653 01:23:25,707 --> 01:23:28,075 (Kiki grunting) 1654 01:23:28,175 --> 01:23:30,077 - Let me in. 1655 01:23:30,177 --> 01:23:34,348 - [Ship] I told you we're not going anywhere without Saira. 1656 01:23:34,849 --> 01:23:36,083 - What are you doing? 1657 01:23:36,183 --> 01:23:37,719 - Saira? 1658 01:23:37,785 --> 01:23:42,824 Oh, thank God you're okay. (laughs) 1659 01:23:42,924 --> 01:23:44,091 Mind if I 1660 01:23:45,292 --> 01:23:47,160 bum a lift? 1661 01:23:47,261 --> 01:23:51,633 - Yeah, I just don't think that would really make sense. 1662 01:23:52,099 --> 01:23:54,034 You know what I mean? 1663 01:23:54,134 --> 01:23:56,704 - Oh, come on, are you seriously mad at me? 1664 01:23:56,804 --> 01:23:58,540 - Yeah. - Fair. 1665 01:24:00,742 --> 01:24:02,209 - [Saira] You're looking better. 1666 01:24:02,309 --> 01:24:05,412 - [Ship] Yeah, it was mostly just cum. 1667 01:24:05,513 --> 01:24:07,047 (ship humming) 1668 01:24:07,114 --> 01:24:10,384 - Oh, fuck, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 1669 01:24:10,450 --> 01:24:12,954 - [Ship] We don't wanna ever see you again. 1670 01:24:13,053 --> 01:24:15,255 - [Saira] Oh, you can have this back. 1671 01:24:17,759 --> 01:24:19,794 - I've never been more attracted to you. 1672 01:24:22,931 --> 01:24:24,264 - [Ship] Where to now, Sasha? 1673 01:24:24,331 --> 01:24:25,365 - Back to Clitopolis. 1674 01:24:25,465 --> 01:24:27,001 - [Ship] No. 1675 01:24:27,100 --> 01:24:30,638 - Also, just as a heads up, it's Saira. 1676 01:24:31,506 --> 01:24:33,073 - [Ship] Oh my God. 1677 01:24:33,173 --> 01:24:34,542 Have I been saying it wrong the whole time? 1678 01:24:34,642 --> 01:24:37,679 That is so embarrassing. 1679 01:24:37,745 --> 01:24:39,479 I am so sorry, Saiyeera. 1680 01:24:39,547 --> 01:24:40,447 - [Saira] Saira. 1681 01:24:41,448 --> 01:24:42,951 - [Ship] That's what I'm saying. 1682 01:24:43,051 --> 01:24:45,252 - [Saira] No, listen to what I'm saying. 1683 01:24:49,122 --> 01:24:53,260 ♪ Are you seriously friendzoning me ♪ 1684 01:24:53,327 --> 01:24:58,131 ♪ You can't be seriously friendzoning me ♪ 1685 01:24:58,198 --> 01:25:01,836 ♪ Say you don't even wanna be poly ♪ 1686 01:25:01,936 --> 01:25:07,008 ♪ I can't believe this, you're friendzoning me ♪ 1687 01:25:07,709 --> 01:25:08,710 (upbeat music) 1688 01:25:08,810 --> 01:25:12,814 ♪ You were my desire ♪ 1689 01:25:12,880 --> 01:25:17,585 ♪ My heart was up higher ♪ 1690 01:25:17,685 --> 01:25:22,289 ♪ But you burned it down like fire ♪ 1691 01:25:22,389 --> 01:25:27,095 ♪ Oh, you better watch out for Saira ♪ 1692 01:25:27,194 --> 01:25:31,498 ♪ Yeah, you better watch out for Saira ♪ 1693 01:25:31,599 --> 01:25:36,671 ♪ Well, you better watch out for Saira ♪ 1694 01:25:40,474 --> 01:25:43,811 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1695 01:25:43,878 --> 01:25:45,312 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1696 01:25:45,379 --> 01:25:48,281 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1697 01:25:48,382 --> 01:25:49,584 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1698 01:25:49,684 --> 01:25:50,685 ♪ Just because you ♪ 1699 01:25:50,752 --> 01:25:51,886 (singer vocalising) 1700 01:25:51,953 --> 01:25:54,055 ♪ Doesn't mean I owe you shit ♪ 1701 01:25:54,122 --> 01:25:56,323 ♪ Just because you shot your shot ♪ 1702 01:25:56,423 --> 01:25:58,726 ♪ Doesn't mean that you get it ♪ 1703 01:25:58,793 --> 01:26:01,062 ♪ This isn't a transaction ♪ 1704 01:26:01,129 --> 01:26:03,397 ♪ Your kind of satisfaction ♪ 1705 01:26:03,463 --> 01:26:08,102 ♪ Doesn't buy you a fuck, I don't owe you shit ♪ 1706 01:26:08,168 --> 01:26:11,506 ♪ Not in the friendzone ♪ 1707 01:26:11,572 --> 01:26:13,306 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1708 01:26:13,373 --> 01:26:17,310 ♪ Don't believe it, asshole, you're not a nice guy ♪ 1709 01:26:17,377 --> 01:26:18,546 ♪ You don't get to ♪ 1710 01:26:18,646 --> 01:26:21,916 (singer vocalising) 1711 01:26:22,016 --> 01:26:24,217 ♪ Just because you pretend to care ♪ 1712 01:26:24,284 --> 01:26:26,621 ♪ Doesn't mean I drop my pants ♪ 1713 01:26:26,721 --> 01:26:28,956 ♪ This isn't a transaction ♪ 1714 01:26:29,057 --> 01:26:31,391 ♪ Your kind of satisfaction ♪ 1715 01:26:31,458 --> 01:26:35,730 ♪ Doesn't buy you a fuck, I don't owe you shit ♪ 1716 01:26:35,797 --> 01:26:39,332 ♪ Not in the friendzone ♪ 1717 01:26:39,433 --> 01:26:41,135 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1718 01:26:41,201 --> 01:26:45,139 ♪ Don't believe it, asshole, you're not a nice guy ♪ 1719 01:26:45,205 --> 01:26:48,543 ♪ Not in the friendzone ♪ 1720 01:26:48,643 --> 01:26:50,343 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1721 01:26:50,410 --> 01:26:54,448 ♪ Don't believe it, asshole, you're not a nice guy ♪ 1722 01:26:54,549 --> 01:26:57,952 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1723 01:26:58,052 --> 01:26:59,453 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1724 01:26:59,554 --> 01:27:02,489 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 1725 01:27:02,590 --> 01:27:04,892 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1726 01:27:04,959 --> 01:27:06,794 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 1727 01:27:06,894 --> 01:27:09,396 ♪ Saira, there she goes ♪ 1728 01:27:09,463 --> 01:27:11,833 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1729 01:27:11,933 --> 01:27:15,502 ♪ There she goes, oh, Saira, there she goes ♪ 1730 01:27:15,603 --> 01:27:18,840 ♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪ 1731 01:27:18,906 --> 01:27:21,308 ♪ Yeah, wrote my song down ♪ 1732 01:27:22,143 --> 01:27:23,211 ♪ Woo ♪